In some countries young people have less leisure time and under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?
Plenty of
the
continents have a large population of youngsters suffering from school pressure and a lack of Correct article usage
apply
time
to rest. The main issue is that students experiencing stress from Use synonyms
studies
often develop serious illnesses or an increased risk of suicide.
First of all, constant focus on education and no Correct pronoun usage
their studies
time
for relaxation can cause diseases Use synonyms
such
as Linking Words
anemia
or insomnia. Overwhelming strain without breaks for leisure can lead to a sedentary lifestyle. Change the spelling
anaemia
This
means that the organism will undergo a minimum amount of physical activities and will be fixed in one position for a long Linking Words
time
. Use synonyms
As a result
, pupils will not adapt to Linking Words
such
a stress-related routine and may resort to suicide to be free from pressure.
Linking Words
Secondly
, to cope with the problems listed above, the school system should provide a new form of education with a more stress-free atmosphere during lessons. Linking Words
For example
, teenagers can select only interesting subjects related to their future careers and will not be forced to learn unnecessary lectures. Linking Words
Moreover
, the principles of high schools ought to suggest a more flexible and convenient schedule, Linking Words
thus
allowing Linking Words
time
for rest.
Use synonyms
To sum up
, many countries experience a hard Linking Words
time
with a stressful and busy young generation that can lead to severe illnesses. Use synonyms
However
, in the possible future, colleagues can become more innovative and offer individual choices for each student or supply a more resilient timetable.Linking Words
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coherence cohesion
The essay adequately attempts to address the prompt, but there is a need for clearer structure and more effective paragraphing. Ensure that every paragraph has a central idea and logical connection to others.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion were present but could be stronger. Make sure to clearly restate the topic and provide a summary of main points in the conclusion. The introduction should more effectively set the stage for the discussion.
coherence cohesion
Main points need better support and development. Each point raised should be followed by specific examples or explanations that reinforce the argument.
task achievement
While the response to the task is relatively complete, it could benefit from deeper analysis and discussion of causes and solutions, directly linking to the prompt.
task achievement
Ideas presented in the essay need to be explained more thoroughly and clearly. Aim for more depth and detail in explaining the causes and proposing solutions.
task achievement
The use of specific examples is critical in IELTS essays. Ensure that each main point is anchored with relevant and illustrative examples.
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