MANY PEOPLE ARE OPTING FOR SEVERAL CAREERS AS COMPARED TO SINGLE CAREER TO EARN MORE MONEY. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE.

In the contemporary epoch,
rise
Correct article usage
a rise
show examples
in living
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
show examples
is witnessed at a rapid pace. Many individuals are choosing to earn more from different career opportunities
instead
of earning through a single
source
of
income
. I strongly agree with
this
statement because multiple careers help
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
show examples
to reach their financial
goals
early, and it reduces the
dependency
on a single
source
of
income
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
this
essay shall aim to explore the supporting points in subsequent paragraphs. To embark upon, there could be ample
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
reasons why
people
choose multiple careers.
Predominanty
Correct your spelling
Predominant
/primarily,adding more
sources
of
income
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
people
to reach their earning
goals
early in their lives. To be more precise,
people
earn more money through different
sources
of
income
instead
of one
source
so that when they have sufficient money, they can retire and focus on other important things.
For instance
, most of the young
people
in India are retiring at the age of forties because they
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
multiple
sources
of
income
.
Therefore
,
people
are choosing to earn through multiple
sources
to complete their money
goals
early.
Furthermore
, earning through multiple
sources
reduces the
dependency
on a single
income
.
In other words
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
of
Correct article usage
the times
show examples
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
single
income
does not give the same amount throughout
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life and
as a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
people
face financial difficulties,
therefore
, if they have other
sources
of
income
then
they do not need to face
financial
Correct article usage
a financial
show examples
crisis.
For example
, in a research, it was found that
people
who had multiple
sources
of
income
have less
chances
Fix the agreement mistake
chance
show examples
of financial crisis as they are not dependent on a single
income
.
Hence
,
people
are earning from multiple careers to reduce their
dependency
on a single
source
. In conclusion, it is being argued that individuals are choosing to earn through multiple
sources
instead
of a single
source
. I strongly agree with
this
statement because they reach money-related
goals
early, and their
dependency
on a single
source
is reduced.
Submitted by KaranAwal15 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is well-developed, with a clear central idea, and that all parts of the essay are logically connected. Use cohesive devices appropriately.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task thoroughly. Your ideas should be relevant and well-supported with examples. Additionally, make sure your position is clear throughout the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • job market dynamics
  • skill diversification
  • technological advancements
  • income potential
  • gig economy
  • flexible opportunities
  • financial necessity
  • economic instability
  • insufficient wages
  • work-life balance
  • burnout
  • continuous learning
  • development
  • social pressure
  • peer pressure
  • career trajectory
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