IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

MANY PEOPLE ARE OPTING FOR SEVERAL CAREERS AS COMPARED TO SINGLE CAREER TO EARN MORE MONEY. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE.

#people #careers #career #money
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In the contemporary epoch,
rise
Correct article usage
a rise
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 in living
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
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 is witnessed at a rapid pace. Many individuals are choosing to earn more from different career opportunities
instead
Linking Words
 of earning through a single
source
Use synonyms
 of
income
Use synonyms
. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because multiple careers help
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
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 to reach their financial
goals
Use synonyms
 early, and it reduces the
dependency
Use synonyms
 on a single
source
Use synonyms
 of
income
Use synonyms
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 essay shall aim to explore the supporting points in subsequent paragraphs. To embark upon, there could be ample
of
Change preposition
apply
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reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 choose multiple careers.
Predominanty
Correct your spelling
Predominant
/primarily,adding more
sources
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 of
income
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help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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people
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 to reach their earning
goals
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 early in their lives. To be more precise,
people
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 earn more money through different
sources
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 of
income
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of one
source
Use synonyms
 so that when they have sufficient money, they can retire and focus on other important things.
For instance
Linking Words
, most of the young
people
Use synonyms
 in India are retiring at the age of forties because they
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 multiple
sources
Use synonyms
 of
income
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 are choosing to earn through multiple
sources
Use synonyms
 to complete their money
goals
Use synonyms
 early.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, earning through multiple
sources
Use synonyms
 reduces the
dependency
Use synonyms
 on a single
income
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
Correct article usage
the times
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times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
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 single
income
Use synonyms
 does not give the same amount throughout
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life and
as a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
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people
Use synonyms
 face financial difficulties,
therefore
Linking Words
, if they have other
sources
Use synonyms
 of
income
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 they do not need to face
financial
Correct article usage
a financial
show examples
 crisis.
For example
Linking Words
, in a research, it was found that
people
Use synonyms
 who had multiple
sources
Use synonyms
 of
income
Use synonyms
 have less
chances
Fix the agreement mistake
chance
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 of financial crisis as they are not dependent on a single
income
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 are earning from multiple careers to reduce their
dependency
Use synonyms
 on a single
source
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, it is being argued that individuals are choosing to earn through multiple
sources
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of a single
source
Use synonyms
. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because they reach money-related
goals
Use synonyms
 early, and their
dependency
Use synonyms
 on a single
source
Use synonyms
 is reduced.
Submitted by KaranAwal15 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is well-developed, with a clear central idea, and that all parts of the essay are logically connected. Use cohesive devices appropriately.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task thoroughly. Your ideas should be relevant and well-supported with examples. Additionally, make sure your position is clear throughout the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • job market dynamics
  • skill diversification
  • technological advancements
  • income potential
  • gig economy
  • flexible opportunities
  • financial necessity
  • economic instability
  • insufficient wages
  • work-life balance
  • burnout
  • continuous learning
  • development
  • social pressure
  • peer pressure
  • career trajectory
What to do next:
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