IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#aim #science #people #lives
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Certain groups of
people
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 argue that the fundamental goal of
science
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 is to improve the quality of
people
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's lives. In fact, I agree with those who believe that
science
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 should contribute to promoting someone's being.
Firstly
Linking Words
, with the
role
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 of
science
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, someone attains information and knowledge about their own lives, which helps them to have decent well-being. The improvement in the applied
science
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 field has contributed a lot to
people
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 to have more healthier living.
This
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 happens because the development of
science
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 is mainly to discover new knowledge concerning human health conditions. To illustrate
this
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 point, from
science
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, scientists gain an understanding of some particular diseases. After they found out about those, they could perform some experiments to explore the medication for those certain diseases, which may help to escalate
people
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's health condition. Many medications, health-related technology, vaccines and more have been developed because of
science
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.
Secondly
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,
science
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 helps someone to innovate the latest machinery, and the main purpose of creating those kinds of advanced tech is to assist human lives.
Science
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 is able to contribute to the exploration of new knowledge, which helps
people
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 to develop the latest innovations. Many useful machines nowadays
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 developed with the
role
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 of
science
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.
Science
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 plays a dominant
role
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 in technological development.
For example
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, the agriculture system has been shifted for centuries since
people
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 have always introduced new kinds of tools that help them to have more efficient ways.
To sum up
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,
science
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 plays a significant
role
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 in escalating
people
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's well-being and helps to develop new technology. I,
therefore
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, remain firmly convinced that the essential purpose of
science
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 is to improve human life quality.
Submitted by someonewhodwells on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The ideas should be arranged in a way that there is a logical flow from one paragraph to the other.
coherence cohesion
Expand on your main points with more specific examples to fully support your arguments and enhance the overall argument of the essay.
task achievement
Your response is complete, and you address the topic well. However, to improve, make sure to fully develop your ideas and provide more precise examples or evidence to clearly support your thesis.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant but could be more specific. Develop your illustrations to better demonstrate how the main points contribute to the essay's argument and improve the task response score.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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