IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #sites #impact #individuals #society
It is believed that many
sides
 of social media
holds
Verb problem
have
show examples
 some poor effects on people and policies.Social networking seems to be a useful tool. Utilizing
public
Correct article usage
a public
show examples
 network is
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
required in order to do
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
own
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
works On the one hand, social networks
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 a vital
apart
Correct your spelling
part
show examples
 of studying online is outlined for unable individuals. Studying every disabled
pupils
Change to a singular noun
pupil
show examples
 offline seems to be a difficult situation for teachers. They may have insufficient time for each
children
Change to a singular noun
child
show examples
 at school.
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
show examples
 social networks lead to lessen our daily chores. Should you
are
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
 busy
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
you do not have to lay the table, as you tend to order something for dinner. All in all, I
partial
Change the word
partially
show examples
 disagree with
theories
Correct article usage
the theories
show examples
 which
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 community does not possess good
sides
.
On the other hand
, despite the
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 above it
indicated
Wrong verb form
indicates
show examples
 social platforms affect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our children and contribute to
improve
Change the verb form
improving
show examples
 their health problems.
For instance
, young adults
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 your family play online video games between 4 and 5 hours a day. It will definitely diminish their eye capability.
Consequently
, they may become blind.
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
 social network services like chatting online on Telegram media for a long time without doing physical activities
such
 as running, jumping and
acting
Verb problem
apply
show examples
other aerobic exercises
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a negative impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
not only children perhaps
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
old
Fix the agreement mistake
older
show examples
 ages
as well
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.
As a result
, you will become obese For the reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that social
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
 may possess some drawbacks for people and societies, as they can not outweigh other
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
sides
. In my opinion, internet communities do not hold
such
 big negative
sides
 as we thought
Submitted by yoqubjonovjamshidbek23 on

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Introduction/Conclusion
Ensure clarity in your introduction by presenting a clear thesis statement that expresses your position on the topic.
Logical Structure
Develop logical paragraph structures, with clear topic sentences and supporting details that relate directly to the question.
Supported Main Points
Expand and elaborate your main points by providing more detailed explanations and a wider range of relevant examples.
Complete Response
Fully address all parts of the task by providing a clear opinion and developing your arguments to support that opinion.
Clear/Comprehensive Ideas
Use a range of structures and vocabulary to articulate your ideas more clearly and comprehensively.
Relevant/Specific Examples
Back up your points with specific examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments and provide a more complete response to the prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • social isolation
  • virtual interactions
  • mental health
  • feelings of inadequacy
  • anxiety
  • depression
  • misinformation
  • destabilize
  • privacy concerns
  • data breaches
  • productivity
  • foster connections
  • educational content
  • social activism
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