Many people nowadays spend a large of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Nowadays, many people's screen time is really high, which is inherently for the young generation. It seems to me that the main reason for

that is

that all human beings can be put on smartphones.

Firstly

, the phone is a resource to access information and numerous kinds of entertainment,

such

as social media, games and obviously, the Internet.

This

gadget facilitates remote work and flexibility, which gives you plentiful opportunities.

Moreover

, smartphones can be used, as devices for self-improvement or education.

For instance

, the relevant example from my personal experience is I used to do all my homework on my devices every day, even rarely can do the same thing now.

Nevertheless

, I have a plethora of online friendships at present,

consequently

Add a comma

consequently,

show examples

I use social media, as a primary means of communication.

On the other hand

, smartphone is a huge distractor from real life and things, like face-to-face interactions or physical activities. It leads to a decrease in productivity, which consequences might be enormous.

Besides

, without attention, you will be procrastinating all the time.

For example

, the quarantine in 2020 led society to issues with motivation or wish to continue working and studying.

Submitted by katiakardash07 on Mon Dec 04 2023

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task response

While you have addressed both parts of the question, you should develop your ideas further. Ensure that you explore cause and effect more comprehensively and that you discuss both the positive and negative implications of smartphone use more equally.

coherence and cohesion

The essay presents organized ideas but needs more clear and consistent use of cohesive devices. Continuity of ideas could be improved with better paragraphing and use of linking phrases. Additionally, make sure your introduction and conclusion adequately introduce and summarize the main points of your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

193 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Connectivity
Multifunctionality
Instant gratification
Digital natives
Cybersecurity concerns
Social isolation
Ergonomic issues
Technological addiction
Virtual communities
E-learning
Telecommuting
Screen time
Digital detox
Mobile applications
User interface
Sedentary lifestyle
Information overload
Carpal tunnel syndrome
Procrastination
Phubbing (ignoring someone in favor of a mobile phone)

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Many people nowadays spend a large of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people say that schools should teach good behavior to children and introduce them to right and wrong. Parents should not only be the ones responsible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that it is. A waste of time to learn literature such as a novel and poems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays governments are investing more in public transport such as buses and trains rather than in building new roads. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?