You live with a roommate at university, but you have trouble studying because of a problem related to your roommate. Write a letter to an administrator at your university and include: Who you are The problem What you suggest they do

#roommate #university #trouble #administrator

Dear Sir/Mam, I hope you are doing great.

This

is Parjit Kaur, a student in the third year of the accounting program at Algoma University. I am writing

this

letter to inform you that I am having trouble with my roommate. Me and my old roommate were living together happily. We never disturbed each other as we had to study late at

night

sometimes. She left four months ago as she had completed her studies.

This

new girl named Radhika came to my

room

. She is nice by nature but I am not much happy to live with her as she plays loud music and dances at

night

. Sometimes, she invites her friends to come to have fun and do a party and creates a mess in all areas of the

room

. She keeps the light on all

night

and talks to her friends for a long

night

. I have been tolerating

this

behavior for a long time but I am not able to study and prepare for my exams very well. I request you to take an action on

this

problem. Either you can give me another

room

or she can move to another

room

. I hope I will listen to your decision soon. Yours faithfully, Parjit Kaur

Submitted by neetpunar on Mon Dec 04 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that the letter has a clear logical progression, with each paragraph focusing on a single issue for better clarity and impact.

coherence cohesion

The greeting and closing are appropriate, but they could be enhanced by adding 'Madam' after 'Mam' to align with conventional letter-writing etiquette.

coherence cohesion

Divide the letter into clear paragraphs, each dealing with one specific aspect: introduction, the issue at hand, the impact on your studies, proposed solutions, and a formal request for action.

task achievement

Your response clearly outlines who you are, the problem you're facing, and a suggestion for resolution. For a better score, expand on each aspect with more details and a formal request for a meeting or follow-up action.

task achievement

Maintain a polite and formal tone throughout the letter. While the tone is mostly suitable, some phrases could be formalized further to better suit the official nature of the correspondence.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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1Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

209 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

accommodation
residential advisor
disruptive
concentration
mediation
compliance
amicable
tenable
rectify
study habits
commons area
quiet hours
academic achievement
cohabitation
lifestyle conflict

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You live with a roommate at university, but you have trouble studying because of a problem related to your roommate. Write a letter to an administrator at your university and include: Who you are The problem What you suggest they do

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

we live in a world of technology these days. While the Internet brings it with clear advantages, the problems in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Television Sporting shows such as the Olympics motivatethe youth who do not like to exercise much. Do you agree or disagree? Include relevant examples in your answer and provide your own opinion.

Many people choose to work or live abroad be cause of the higher standards of living they can find outside their home country. Do you think this brings more advantages or disadvantages to the people who follow this path?

compare two charts of house prices in 2013 and1995 at England

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?