IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

You live with a roommate at university, but you have trouble studying because of a problem related to your roommate. Write a letter to an administrator at your university and include: Who you are The problem What you suggest they do

#roommate #university #trouble #administrator
Dear Sir/Mam, I hope you are doing great.
This
 is Parjit Kaur, a student in the third year of the accounting program at Algoma University. I am writing
this
 letter to inform you that I am having trouble with my roommate. Me and my old roommate were living together happily. We never disturbed each other as we had to study late at
night
 sometimes. She left four months ago as she had completed her studies.
This
 new girl named Radhika came to my
room
. She is nice by nature but I am not much happy to live with her as she plays loud music and dances at
night
. Sometimes, she invites her friends to come to have fun and do a party and creates a mess in all areas of the
room
. She keeps the light on all
night
 and talks to her friends for a long
night
. I have been tolerating
this
 behavior for a long time but I am not able to study and prepare for my exams very well. I request you to take an action on
this
 problem. Either you can give me another
room
 or she can move to another
room
. I hope I will listen to your decision soon. Yours faithfully, Parjit Kaur
Submitted by neetpunar on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the letter has a clear logical progression, with each paragraph focusing on a single issue for better clarity and impact.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are appropriate, but they could be enhanced by adding 'Madam' after 'Mam' to align with conventional letter-writing etiquette.
coherence cohesion
Divide the letter into clear paragraphs, each dealing with one specific aspect: introduction, the issue at hand, the impact on your studies, proposed solutions, and a formal request for action.
task achievement
Your response clearly outlines who you are, the problem you're facing, and a suggestion for resolution. For a better score, expand on each aspect with more details and a formal request for a meeting or follow-up action.
task achievement
Maintain a polite and formal tone throughout the letter. While the tone is mostly suitable, some phrases could be formalized further to better suit the official nature of the correspondence.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • accommodation
  • residential advisor
  • disruptive
  • concentration
  • mediation
  • compliance
  • amicable
  • tenable
  • rectify
  • study habits
  • commons area
  • quiet hours
  • academic achievement
  • cohabitation
  • lifestyle conflict
What to do next:
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