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Band 7.5

It is better for students to live away from home while studying at university than to live with parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#students #home #university #parents
University education plays a unique role in an individual's development, and some people
therefore
 argue that living independently for the young is better than staying with their
parents
 during the semester. From my perspective, I could not agree with
this
 opinion any more, believing that it is a must for
college
 students to live either alone or with their peers. It is true that there are some benefits for the young dwelling with their family. First of all, many
college
 freshmen may face a great many difficulties and challenges when living away from home.
For example
, they have to spend time and effort learning how to manage money wisely, and how to clean the house, which consumes a great amount of time that can be used for relaxing and studying.
Furthermore
, living with
parents
 can reduce expenses to a certain extent, say, rents, utility costs and so on, which
therefore
 alleviates the extra financial burden for both individuals and families.
Nevertheless
, living independently is an essential route for
college
 students, be it at present or in the future, which can not only offer them opportunities to gain some crucial skills,
such
 as doing chores, financial literacy, etc., but
also
 strengthen the bond and relationship of having roommates. For one thing, spoiled by
parents
 and grandparents, lots of young people are largely reliant on others in making decisions or managing personal issues, which in turn will backfire if they are unable to handle those problems on their own as soon as possible. Living separately from their
parents
 can help them hone those necessary skills so that they can fit into a new environment in future. For another, those young people living on campus or renting an apartment with peers can have more time to interact with others,
thus
 improving their communication skills, which, in the long run, can exert favourable impacts,
such
 as wider social connections, sufficient experience in dealing with counterparts and so on. In conclusion, we can see more positive influences for
college
 students living away from their
parents
 when studying at university, albeit with some potential downsides.
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coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. You consistently make use of cohesive devices and paragraphing effectively to create a logical progression between your ideas.
task achievement
To improve task achievement further, make sure to explore both sides of the topic in depth by providing more detailed examples and elaborating on the counterpoints before reaffirming your position.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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