IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

There is a problem in your street. Write a letter to the local town council explaining who you are, what the problem is and what you hope will be done about it.

#street #town #council #hope
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Dear John, I hope your health and work are fine. I was very happy that you invited me to your country's festival. I decided to accept your offer and I visit
this
Linking Words
 festival. Because I love Christmas day.I am writing in order to thank you for bringing me to your attention. Today is the 15th of December, and festival dates are the 30th of December and the 1st of January.
This
Linking Words
 day was the Christmas holidays. So I will purchase a ticket for the pilot on 28th December.
In addition
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, I will do housework and tasks till I have left for your country. Actually, I will be honest. Nowadays, all of the residents love the holiday and are active. And I want to be active in
this
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 festival.
For instance
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, go out stay at home and make snowmen from snow. I love walking around streets during the Christmas holidays because there are a lot of people, adults and teenagers, and snow covers the surroundings and around will be lily-white. Yours sincerely, Rayimkulov.
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

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task achievement
The letter fails to address the set task, which is to write to the local town council about a problem in your street. It rather discusses an acceptance of a festival invitation, which is off-topic.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the letter is confusing with no clear introduction, body, or conclusion that are relevant to the given task. The paragraphs are not well-developed and the ideas are not connected to the specified purpose of writing about a street problem.
coherence cohesion
The closing of the letter is inappropriate for the context of a formal letter to the town council and is more suitable for an informal letter to a friend.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Local council, town hall, representative, official address
  • Infrastructure, amenities, public services
  • Road maintenance, potholes, resurfacing
  • Streetlight, illumination, lighting outage
  • Noise pollution, disturbance, decibel levels
  • Health hazards, safety concerns, risk assessment
  • Remedial action, corrective measures, enforcement
  • Communication, response, follow-up
  • Pertinent, urgent, pressing issue
  • Resolution, rectification, amelioration
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