IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

the line graph compares x country's domestic production and consumption of rice in forty years starting from 1990, while the bar graph compares the consumption of rice and other staples. units are measured in million tons.

the line graph compares x country's domestic production and consumption of rice in forty years starting from 1990, while the bar graph compares the consumption of rice and other staples. units are measured in million tons.
The line graph depicts the comparison between
rice
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 yield and intake and is measured in million tons,
while
Linking Words
 the bar chart complemented other food
consumption
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besides
Linking Words
rice
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 in percentage in x
country
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 from 1990 to 2040.
Overall
Linking Words
, the amount of
rice
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 produced and consumed by x
country
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 has risen over the timeframe, there is excess in
rice
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 output over the intake for the
last
Linking Words
 two decades.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
rice
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 has been the major source of crops in that
country
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 for the whole given
period
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. To commence, the production of
rice
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 was recorded at 25, lower by 10 million compared to its intake at the beginning of the
period
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. It
then
Linking Words
 rose gradually to reach 35 over the next 20 years,
while
Linking Words
 the utilization of
rice
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 remained steady for the same
period
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.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, there was a significant surge in the following years in
rice
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 output, surpassing the utilization in 2015 before it reached a peak at 75 in 2040.
Although
Linking Words
 the
consumption
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 finished at just about 60
at the end
Linking Words
, it increased substantially after the exceeding progress.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
initially
Linking Words
, the other crops were the main food for the
country
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, just recorded with a slight difference compared to
rice
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 at the beginning of the
period
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. From the data, we can say that society has
favored
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favoured
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rice
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 over these crops, as indicated by the reduced numbers of
consumption
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,
while
Linking Words
 the proportion of
rice
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 increased significantly within
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
40 years. The amount of other
consumption
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then
Linking Words
 rocketed threefold in 2040
whereas
Linking Words
 for
rice
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 it diminished by nearly half, resulting in a mere slight difference in the amount of utilization of
rice
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 and other staples.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words rice, consumption, country, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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