The pie chart shows the percentage of persons arrested in the five years ending 1994 and the bar chart shows the most recent reasons for arrest. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

#percentage #persons #five #years #bar #arrest #information #features #comparisons

The pie charts demonstrate the percentage of

females

and

males

arrested between 1989 and 1994,

whereas

the bar chart shows by gender what they were arrested for and the percentage of arrests for every crime.

Overall

males

were arrested more than

females

and public drinking was the most common crime for both genders. It can be seen from the chart that the proportion of

males

arrested was much higher than for

females

. 32% of them were arrested during the given time, compared to 9% for

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Fix the agreement mistake

females

show examples

female

Fix the agreement mistake

females

show examples

one

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

. Fellow tended to be arrested for drunk driving more than

females

, at about 25% and slightly under 15%, about twice the time. Theft, breach of order and other reasons were

also

greater for men, with the average percentage being about 20% for men and 10% for women, not including public drinking. On the opposite, girls had a greater rate of arrests for public drinking, assault and no answer.

Females

tended to be arrested for public drinking more than

males

, at above 35%, compared to 30% for

males

Also

, approximately 5% of both genders didn't tell why they were arrested.

Submitted by yeshomeclass on Tue Dec 05 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words females, males with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

187 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The pie chart shows the percentage of persons arrested in the five years ending 1994 and the bar chart shows the most recent reasons for arrest. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

some people beleive that it is important to keep the home and the work place tidy and organized. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view.

telling about teahers day to your friend informal letter

Nowadays,many people choose to be self-employed,rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.