The pie chart shows the percentage of persons arrested in the five years ending 1994 and the bar chart shows the most recent reasons for arrest. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

#percentage #persons #five #years #bar #arrest #information #features #comparisons

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The pie charts demonstrate the percentage of

females

Use synonyms

and

males

Use synonyms

arrested between 1989 and 1994,

whereas

Linking Words

the bar chart shows by gender what they were arrested for and the percentage of arrests for every crime.

Overall

Linking Words

males

Use synonyms

were arrested more than

females

Use synonyms

and public drinking was the most common crime for both genders. It can be seen from the chart that the proportion of

males

Use synonyms

arrested was much higher than for

females

Use synonyms

. 32% of them were arrested during the given time, compared to 9% for

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Fix the agreement mistake

females

show examples

female

Fix the agreement mistake

females

show examples

one

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

. Fellow tended to be arrested for drunk driving more than

females

Use synonyms

, at about 25% and slightly under 15%, about twice the time. Theft, breach of order and other reasons were

also

Linking Words

greater for men, with the average percentage being about 20% for men and 10% for women, not including public drinking. On the opposite, girls had a greater rate of arrests for public drinking, assault and no answer.

Females

Use synonyms

tended to be arrested for public drinking more than

males

Use synonyms

, at above 35%, compared to 30% for

males

Use synonyms

Also

Linking Words

, approximately 5% of both genders didn't tell why they were arrested.

Submitted by yeshomeclass on Tue Dec 05 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words females, males with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

187 words

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The pie chart shows the percentage of persons arrested in the five years ending 1994 and the bar chart shows the most recent reasons for arrest. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

In many countries people use electric devices for daily house chores while some think it is an expensive energy source and we ought to use gas instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion.?

In many cities, problems related to overpopulation are becoming more common. Some governments are now encouraging businesses and individuals to move out of cities to rural areas. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think governments should spend money on faster means of public transport. However, others think money should be spent on other priorities (eg cost, environment). Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

Many companies are developing electronic books. Some people think these books will replace paper books in the future. To what extent do you agree.

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?