Governments should spend on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#governments #railways #roads

While

there are a

lot

of people who agree that the

government

should allocate its

budget

railways

, I disagree because I think

roads

are more efficient compared to

railways

Roads

can approach small areas and are easier to maintain. Plus,

roads

will

also

cost less in terms of construction.

On the other hand

railways

are less flexible because building them will cause high expenses and will take a long time. Building

roads

has a

lot

of advantages.

Firstly

roads

are easier to use for a

lot

of people. These days, almost everybody has a car. It could be more than one car for the average person in the city.

Hence

, in order to approach one location,

roads

are easier to use for these people.

Secondly

roads

can

also

approach small areas,

for instance

, villages and remote areas. Villages tend to have compact space.

Thus

, in order to go to these villages, using

roads

will be the best option.

Roads

are

also

easier to maintain since the heavy equipment that will be used to repair them is easier to procure.

Finally

, building

roads

will impact

Change preposition

apply

show examples

less

budget

. It is

due to

the cheap raw materials and

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

On the contrary

, constructing

railways

has several drawbacks.

Correct pronoun usage

This

show examples

is mainly because building

railways

will lead to high costs. The expense of building

railways

can be up to 50% higher compared to building

roads

. Another reason is that the raw materials for

railways

such

as steel and rock are expensive.

Also

, the

government

must hire a reputable engineering consultant which will take a

lot

of money.

Moreover

, building

railways

will take a

lot

of time, which is up to 2 years longer compared to building

roads

. In conclusion, I think the

government

should allocate its

budget

more to

roads

compared to

railways

. It is because

roads

are easier to use, more flexible, and can impact on less

budget

for the

government

On the other hand

railways

are not preferred because they will lead to high

expense

Fix the agreement mistake

expenses

show examples

and will take

longer

Correct article usage

a longer

show examples

time to construct.

Submitted by nadillamntr on Tue Dec 05 2023

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Introduction & Conclusion

You have provided a basic structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the introduction could benefit from a stronger thesis statement that explicitly outlines your main points. The conclusion sums up your arguments but could re-emphasize the significance of the topic.

Logical Structure

The essay shows some logical structure, with paragraphs dedicated to different ideas. Work on your transitions to help the reader follow your line of thought more easily. The use of cohesive devices needs to be more sophisticated and varied.

Supporting Main Points

You have expressed clear ideas that relate to the topic but you should develop your arguments further with more detailed examples and evidence. Vague statements such as 'cheap raw materials and labour' could be backed by specific facts or studies to strengthen your argument.

Completing the Response

Ensure that the response fully addresses the task by discussing both views, not just the one you agree with. Your essay could also benefit from examining the potential benefits of railways to present a more balanced argument.

Clear & Comprehensive Ideas

Clarify and elaborate upon your main ideas by expanding on how roads provide efficiency and flexibility. You may also want to consider counterarguments to show a deeper understanding of the topic.

Relevant Specific Examples

To improve the score in this area, include more detailed and relevant examples to support your claims. Current examples are somewhat basic and could be enhanced by referencing real-world scenarios, comparative studies between road and rail costs, or expert opinions on transport infrastructure.

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

341 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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