Many educators believe that it should be mandatory for all students to wear uniforms. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays many
instituates
Correct your spelling
institutes
institute
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
that students should wear uniforms. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
statement for two
Use synonyms
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
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first,
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economic
cause
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causes
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secondly
Linking Words
, for a great
ralationship
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relationship
.
Therefore
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
essay will articulate
those two
Change the determiner
that two reason
those two reasons
show examples
reason
Use synonyms
. To commence with the first
reason
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, which seems the major one is for
economic
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the economic
show examples
field.
For instance
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, rich people might be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fashionable and more
styleness
Correct your spelling
stylish
.
While
Linking Words
poor individuals
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
simple
clothes
Use synonyms
so because of that
this
Linking Words
issue of
clothes
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would
became
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become
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
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major to talk about. I mean by that students will talk about their unusual and amazing
clothes
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for example
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from
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apply
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where
you
Correct pronoun usage
they
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bought
and
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them and
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how much
?.
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.
show examples
additionally
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,
appealing
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the appealing
an appealing
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deal between pupils I mean because of the pulleys.
this
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would be
effect
Add an article
the effect
an effect
show examples
on their performance.
Consequently
Linking Words
, a prime solution to have a good atmosphere
between
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among
show examples
learners is wearing
uniform
Add an article
a uniform
the uniform
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to be like
asibling
Correct your spelling
siblings
and to have a great relationship between them
as well as
Linking Words
with out
Correct your spelling
without
show examples
an
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a
show examples
costy
Correct your spelling
costly
on
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of
show examples
expensive
clothes
Use synonyms
. Switching to a second cause which is for amazing looked quality between
peaple
Correct your spelling
people
. To be more precisely, if
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
wearing
Wrong verb form
wear
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
clothes
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I mean uniforms
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
would be no
differences
Fix the agreement mistake
difference
show examples
between them. They might be
aquire
Correct your spelling
acquire
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
again same knowledge so they will have a prime life from learning apps
I've
Unnecessary verb
I
show examples
values
Correct subject-verb agreement
value
show examples
which is there no differences between
comunties
Correct your spelling
companies
.
Thus
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society will contain politeness and respect
individuals
Change preposition
for individuals
show examples
. In conclusion, it seems
waering
Correct your spelling
wearing
uniform
Correct article usage
a uniform
show examples
always has a positive impact on both students and governments. Owing
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
to this
show examples
I tend to side
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
dressing
uniforms
Change preposition
in uniforms
show examples
for two significant
Use synonyms
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
which are a great relationship and economical.
Submitted by fatima1173 on

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task achievement
Your essay has a clear standpoint, which is good. However, the task response could be improved by expanding your ideas with more depth and clarity. Your examples are somewhat vague and more specific evidence or explanations would help to strengthen your argument. Each body paragraph should contain one clear main idea with supporting details to show a complete response to the task.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay requires improvement. Your ideas are present but they aren't always logically sequenced. This reduces the overall clarity of your essay. Try to organize your paragraphs so that each one starts with a clear topic sentence and follows with supporting sentences that develop that topic.
coherence cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are present, which is positive. However, they could be strengthened. The introduction should more clearly outline the points that will be discussed, and the conclusion should effectively summarize the main ideas of the essay without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains several grammatical errors and awkward phrases that impede comprehension. It would be beneficial to review verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure to enhance the clarity and accuracy of your writing. Using a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary can also enrich your expression and make your writing more engaging.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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