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Writing Samples /
Band 5

today more and more people want things instantly ( eg: goods, service, news). why is this? is it a positive or negative development?

#people #eg #goods #service #news #development
Nowadays, humans tend to change their
demand
Fix the agreement mistake
demands
show examples
 that they often update the information surrounding them
such
 as products,
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
 or news immediately.
This
 is
as
Change preposition
apply
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a result of digital development with numerous technical devices produced and possibly
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to serious drawbacks like impatience which directly influence
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
human performance. There is no doubt that the promotion of smart equipment
such
 as mobile phones, high-speed Internet and on-demand services is the main reason causing
this
 new habit. Obviously, when humans have useful support from these tools, they are able to satisfy their
demand
Fix the agreement mistake
demands
show examples
 without any difficulty like in the past.
For instance
, ordering food online and receiving
just
Correct pronoun usage
it just
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 in a few minutes has become a tendency of teenagers
due to
 its convenience.
Moreover
, the younger generation
tend
Change the verb form
tends
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 to develop a habit that they usually check their phones for
message
Fix the agreement mistake
messages
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 or
dailyannouncement
Correct your spelling
daily announcements
 every morning. Clearly, the advance of high technology is the answer for
thisunfamiliarbehavior
Correct your spelling
this unfamiliar behaviour
 of teenagers
as well as
 adults.
Although
this
 trend is quite popular all around the world, it is able to bring some unexpected consequences for the users, particularly the lack of patience. Having
response
Correct article usage
a response
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 in
solely
Rephrase
only
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 a few seconds
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 people feel
the
Correct your spelling
that
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 life is much easier.
Therefore
, when they must face
with
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apply
show examples
challenges or something
Correct pronoun usage
that occur
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occur
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occurs
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 in
a
Correct article usage
the
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 wrong way,
this
 kind of
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
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 easily turns
into
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apply
show examples
frustrated and
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
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 wrong decisions which will cause
wrong
Change the article
the wrong
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 situation.
Therefore
, people with the expectation of instant results possibly
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
show examples
 their
mind
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minds
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 and obviously, lead to unexpected
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
as well as
 negative outcomes. In conclusion, despite the fact that the improvement of technology is significantly crucial in
this
 era, it can generate a few terrible
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 in the young which will affect their future performance in a profound way.
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Coherence & Cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structure more to keep your writing engaging and to demonstrate your grammatical range.
Task Achievement
Make sure to provide more specific examples to strengthen your main points. This makes your argument more convincing.
General
Check your essay for minor grammatical errors and try to correct them. Pay attention to article usage and preposition.
Task Achievement
Consider expanding on the positives and negatives you discuss, possibly by comparing and contrasting them more directly. This helps in providing a more balanced and comprehensive argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on transitioning between ideas more smoothly; seamless transitions help in making your essay more coherent.
Task Achievement
Your essay provides a clear opinion, addressing both why people want things instantly and its impact.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are appropriately structured, effectively setting up and wrapping up your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • instant gratification
  • advent of technology
  • smartphones
  • internet
  • social media platforms
  • online shopping
  • fast-paced nature
  • modern life
  • immediate satisfaction
  • drive innovation
  • efficiency
  • streamlined
  • user-friendly
  • erosion of patience
  • impulsive buying
  • shallow consumption
  • interpersonal relationships
  • unrealistic standards
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