Some of today's schools insist that all students have their own laptop computer in class to assist i their education. Do you feel that this would be an advantage to studens' education or would it be an unnecessary complication?

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In recent days,
students
tended to use
laptop
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
which aid their
collage
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college
show examples
activities
and assignment completion.
Students
can easily use their Microsoft for typing and calculating,
while
they can
also
read some materials through the same screen.
This
is considered by some is an effective way
for doing
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to do
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some
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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university
life. Is
this
trend,
however
,
advantage
Add an article
the advantage
an advantage
show examples
for
students
themselves? Certainly, the usage of
laptop
Fix the agreement mistake
laptops
show examples
to
support
student’s
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
is beneficial. Nowadays, most
university
Change to a plural noun
universities
show examples
in the world require computer-based type for most of the assignments, so
that
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apply
show examples
students
are likely using
laptop
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laptops
show examples
to do a range of
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
which
obliged
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is obliged
show examples
by their
collages
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colleagues
show examples
.
This
option
regard
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is regarded
show examples
to
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by
show examples
the
university
staff as a simple way of doing
task
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tasks
show examples
because
students
do not have to serve paper which is not eco-friendly.
Furthermore
, the trend of online class encourages many
students
to use
laptop
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laptops
show examples
as a basic
needs
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need
show examples
to run
the
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apply
show examples
teaching
activities
.
This
technological
support
is important to help
students
gain their achievement and the process of learning through broader information
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the the
laptop
.
However
, there are concerns which
students
should
tackled
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tackle
show examples
by using
such
gizmos.
Laptop
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A laptop
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computer
cost
Wrong verb form
costs
show examples
an arm and a leg which not every
students
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student
show examples
can afford
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, especially those who come from underprivileged families.
For
example
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example,
show examples
when I went to the
University
5 years ago, I
cannot
Wrong verb form
could not
show examples
bought
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buy
show examples
a
laptop
which could
support
my
university
assignment
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assignments
show examples
,
as
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and as
show examples
a
result
Add the comma(s)
result,
show examples
I got
a
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apply
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low
score
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scores
show examples
on a few assignments.
This
situation could be severe if
university
Add an article
the university
a university
show examples
does not
support
the
students
with optional tools that can ultimately help the
students
to be more equal in terms of technological issues for assignments. In conclusion, technological devices for
students
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students'
student's
show examples
activities
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
an inevitable
useage
Correct your spelling
use
. They have many advantages for
students
with a plethora
features
Change preposition
of features
show examples
which aid
students
to do a range of
activities
,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
the
serve
Replace the word
service
show examples
of technology should be equal for every student of different
economical
Correct word choice
economic
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background
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backgrounds
show examples
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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task achievement
When addressing the topic, make sure to fully address all parts of the task. Your essay acknowledges the question posed, but the exploration of whether laptops are an unnecessary complication is insufficient. Expand on potential disadvantages and nuances of laptop use in education beyond cost concerns, such as distractions or the impact on traditional learning skills.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows an attempt at coherence and cohesion with a clear paragraph structure. However, transitions between ideas can be smoother. Include more cohesive devices to guide the reader through your argument more clearly. Also, watch out for the consistency in terminology (e.g., switch between 'collage' and 'college') and paragraph topic sentences to ensure they clearly reflect the main idea of each paragraph.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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