IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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An increasing number of people with health issues seek complementary medical treatments rather than mainstream medical therapy. In my point of view,
this
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 is a negative development which can raise types of illness in the community and impact the health institution. There are numerous non-conventional clinics operating illegally in the community these days
due to
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 the power of word of mouth. One serious problem that can arise from
this
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 condition is that many patients who have serious
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
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 have more time to get their health back. Some cancer patients,
for example
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, take non-conventional
remedy
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remedies
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 by consuming herbal medicine
instead
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 of drugs from their doctor. They believe that the effect
from
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of
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 those herbs will accelerate their recovery.
However
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,
as a result
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, cancer patients who are leaving their medication in hospitals seem to have a longer time to recover. Another issue is that many illegal medicines can increase significantly since the price is affordable.
Nonetheless
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, people tend to put off the fact that some side effects may be gained by consuming those medicines. To illustrate, there are many alternative clinics in rural areas that sell their own medicine even though they do not have a legal certificate.
Therefore
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, some diseases can be uplifted in society after consuming those medicines for a long time without any consultation with the doctors. In conclusion,
although
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 alternative medical treatments have become more popular in public, I firmly believe that those practices have a more deteriorating effect on the community. After a thorough analysis of
this
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 condition,
it is clear that
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 the government has to establish regulations related to permission for opening alternative clinics and monitoring drugs in society regularly.

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task achievement
The essay partially addresses the requirements of the task. While it does discuss the negative aspects of alternative medicines, it does not adequately consider any potential positive aspects, as the question asks for the writer's opinion on whether it's a positive or negative development. It is important to cover all parts of the question to achieve a higher band score.
coherence cohesion
The essay's overall logical structure is basic with a simple introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, ideas are not optimally organized within paragraphs. Ideas would benefit from clearer progression and more sophisticated use of cohesive devices. Use paragraphing effectively to organize your ideas coherently and score higher in this criterion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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