Some people say that students who achieve the highest scorer in their exams should be rewarded. Others say that those who show progress should be rewarded instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is no doubt that
student
's exam
performance
should be rewarded.
While
some people believe that the highest scorer should be
recoganised
Correct your spelling
recognised
recognized
by the appreciation others argue that the ward who improved their scores should be motivated through reward. In support
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
latter view which I will explain in
this
essay. The
progress
in the
academic
Fix the agreement mistake
academics
show examples
should be
recoganised
Correct your spelling
recognised
recognized
for
persitence
Correct your spelling
persistence
.
Students
who have
showed
Change the verb form
shown
show examples
improvement in their grades must be recognised
then
only they would continue the
progress
what
Correct word choice
that
show examples
they achieved.
For example
, a study
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
oxford university indicated that the
students
Change to a genitive case
student's
students'
show examples
progression will be in four stages and
recoganisation
Correct your spelling
recognition
in each stage will improve their
performance
in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
stage.
In contrast
,
If
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
students
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
are not appreciated,
showed
Wrong verb form
show
show examples
a decline in their
acadamic
Correct your spelling
academic
performance
.
Secondly
, the
progress
is showing
Wrong verb form
shows
show examples
the effort and
hardworking
Correct word choice
hard work
show examples
of the
student
which should be appreciated. The
student
's learning capabilities
are vary
Change the verb form
vary
show examples
according to
the
genitical
Correct your spelling
genetical
characterestics
Correct your spelling
characteristics
. Some
students
can
easly
Correct your spelling
easily
learn lessons
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
a single reading and
another
Correct quantifier usage
others
show examples
will take
several
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
time to understand.
For example
,
mathamatical genious
Correct your spelling
mathematical genius
Shakunthal Devi calculated
extreemly
Correct your spelling
extremely
difficult
mathamatical
Correct your spelling
mathematical
problems within seconds
while
a normal
student
takes several
day
Change to a plural noun
days
show examples
to resolve.
Moreover
,
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
financial conditions
also
may depend
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
performance
of academic. It
is believe
Change the verb form
is believed
show examples
that 70% of university
students
in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
are working as
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
employees. Despite several
Correct your spelling
challenges
challanges
Add a comma
challanges,
show examples
students
would show
progess
Correct your spelling
progress
must be
recoganised
Correct your spelling
recognised
recognized
. In conclusion, The
students
Change noun form
student's
students'
show examples
progress
in the exam should be
recoganised
Correct your spelling
recognised
recognized
for their
persistence
Replace the word
persistent
show examples
performance
. The
progress
shows the
students
Change noun form
student's
students'
show examples
efforts for improvement
inspite
Correct your spelling
in spite
of several
challanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
which
also
must be appreciated.
Submitted by ck.manshad on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Be mindful of spelling errors and ensure that all vocabulary is used correctly. Errors such as 'recoganised', 'persitence', 'genitical', 'easly', and 'mathamatical' detract from the clarity of your message. Strive to proofread your essay for such mistakes to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Use a range of cohesive devices to link your ideas effectively. The body paragraphs should each focus on one main idea, supported by relevant examples or explanations. The introduction and conclusion were present, but could be strengthened with clearer thesis statements and more conclusive summaries.
task achievement
Provide a well-rounded answer by addressing all parts of the task. Your response should be complete, with a clear position throughout the essay. Include a balanced discussion of both views and your own opinion to fully meet the task requirements. Detailed and relevant examples should also be included to support your arguments. Try to develop each point comprehensively before moving on to the next.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!