IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that students who achieve the highest scorer in their exams should be rewarded. Others say that those who show progress should be rewarded instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #students #scorer #exams #show #progress
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There is no doubt that
student
Use synonyms
's exam
performance
Use synonyms
 should be rewarded.
While
Linking Words
 some people believe that the highest scorer should be
recoganised
Correct your spelling
recognised
recognized
 by the appreciation others argue that the ward who improved their scores should be motivated through reward. In support
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 latter view which I will explain in
this
Linking Words
 essay. The
progress
Use synonyms
 in the
academic
Fix the agreement mistake
academics
show examples
 should be
recoganised
Correct your spelling
recognised
recognized
 for
persitence
Correct your spelling
persistence
.
Students
Use synonyms
 who have
showed
Change the verb form
shown
show examples
 improvement in their grades must be recognised
then
Linking Words
 only they would continue the
progress
Use synonyms
what
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 they achieved.
For example
Linking Words
, a study
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
oxford university indicated that the
Use synonyms
students
Change to a genitive case
student's
students'
show examples
 progression will be in four stages and
recoganisation
Correct your spelling
recognition
 in each stage will improve their
performance
Use synonyms
 in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 stage.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
If
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
students
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 are not appreciated,
showed
Wrong verb form
show
show examples
 a decline in their
acadamic
Correct your spelling
academic
performance
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the
progress
Use synonyms
is showing
Wrong verb form
shows
show examples
 the effort and
hardworking
Correct word choice
hard work
show examples
 of the
student
Use synonyms
 which should be appreciated. The
student
Use synonyms
's learning capabilities
are vary
Change the verb form
vary
show examples
according to
Linking Words
 the
genitical
Correct your spelling
genetical
characterestics
Correct your spelling
characteristics
. Some
students
Use synonyms
 can
easly
Correct your spelling
easily
 learn lessons
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 a single reading and
another
Correct quantifier usage
others
show examples
 will take
several
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
time to understand.
For example
Linking Words
,
mathamatical genious
Correct your spelling
mathematical genius
 Shakunthal Devi calculated
extreemly
Correct your spelling
extremely
 difficult
mathamatical
Correct your spelling
mathematical
 problems within seconds
while
Linking Words
 a normal
student
Use synonyms
 takes several
day
Change to a plural noun
days
show examples
 to resolve.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
 financial conditions
also
Linking Words
 may depend
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
performance
Use synonyms
 of academic. It
is believe
Change the verb form
is believed
show examples
 that 70% of university
students
Use synonyms
 in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 are working as
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
 employees. Despite several
Correct your spelling
challenges
challanges
Add a comma
challanges,
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 would show
progess
Correct your spelling
progress
 must be
recoganised
Correct your spelling
recognised
recognized
. In conclusion, The
Use synonyms
students
Change noun form
student's
students'
show examples
progress
Use synonyms
 in the exam should be
recoganised
Correct your spelling
recognised
recognized
 for their
persistence
Replace the word
persistent
show examples
performance
Use synonyms
. The
progress
Use synonyms
 shows the
Use synonyms
students
Change noun form
student's
students'
show examples
 efforts for improvement
inspite
Correct your spelling
in spite
 of several
challanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
 which
also
Linking Words
 must be appreciated.
Submitted by ck.manshad on

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coherence cohesion
Be mindful of spelling errors and ensure that all vocabulary is used correctly. Errors such as 'recoganised', 'persitence', 'genitical', 'easly', and 'mathamatical' detract from the clarity of your message. Strive to proofread your essay for such mistakes to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Use a range of cohesive devices to link your ideas effectively. The body paragraphs should each focus on one main idea, supported by relevant examples or explanations. The introduction and conclusion were present, but could be strengthened with clearer thesis statements and more conclusive summaries.
task achievement
Provide a well-rounded answer by addressing all parts of the task. Your response should be complete, with a clear position throughout the essay. Include a balanced discussion of both views and your own opinion to fully meet the task requirements. Detailed and relevant examples should also be included to support your arguments. Try to develop each point comprehensively before moving on to the next.
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