The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.
The illustration presents an overview of the key
stage
involved in the manufacturing of
sugar
from two main steps called collecting and processing. Looking from an
overall
perspective, it is evident that there are seven stages in the production of
sugar
, starting with the growing of
sugar
cane and culminating with the drying and cooling of
sugar
. The whole
process
of
sugar
starts when the
sugar
canes have been grown from 12 months to 18 months.
After
this
particular
stage
has finished, it has been harvested by either farmers or using machines. Once
this
particular
stage
in the manufacturing
process
has been finished, it is
then
followed by being crushed, a
process
which results in juice. It is at
this
particular point that the juice has been purified by limestone filler. It is in
this
stage
that the ingredient has been put into the high temperature by the evaporator to become syrup.
Subsequently
, a penultimate
stage
which is separated syrup is carried out. It
then
leads to the final
stage
of the
process
where the ingredient has been dried and cooled with a view to packaging before being delivered to the market.
Submitted by thvana236 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words stage, sugar, process with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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