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Writing Samples /
Band 3

Some people believe that educational success depends on good teachers, while others believe that students’ attitudes are important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #success #teachers #students’ #attitudes
While
 some people believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
academic
success
depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
 on the competency of
teachers
, others argue that it is
subjected
Replace the word
subject
show examples
 to the
attitude
 of
students'
Correct your spelling
students
show examples
. In my view, the
teachers
Change to a genitive case
teacher's
teachers'
show examples
 ability is critical for
students
' educational
success
,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 there is
also
student's
Correct article usage
a student's
show examples
attitude
 is
depended
Wrong verb form
depends
show examples
 on the
sucess
Correct your spelling
success
. On the one hand, the people who
believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 good
teachers
 will
critical
Add a missing verb
be critical
show examples
 for the
students
'
success
 argue that the teaching methods and
committment
Correct your spelling
commitment
 of the
teachers
 are
influence
Wrong verb form
influenced
show examples
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the learning
capasity
Correct your spelling
capacity
 of the pupil.
For instance
, a recent study
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
 of Oxford indicated that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
student
 grades
are depend
Change the verb form
depend
show examples
 on the
teachers
Change to a genitive case
teacher's
teachers'
show examples
 influence
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
students
. The
students
 consider
teacher
Correct article usage
the teacher
show examples
 as
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 role model and the
teacher
Change noun form
teacher's
show examples
 behaviour will
influence
Wrong verb form
influences
show examples
 the
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
performace
Correct your spelling
performance
.
On the other hand
, the
students
Change to a genitive case
student's
students'
show examples
attitude
 is important for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
educational
success
. It often
obseved
Correct your spelling
observed
 that the
student
 will not have
similar
Add an article
a similar
the similar
show examples
 mark in every subject which
is depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
 on the
students
Change to a genitive case
student's
students'
show examples
 interest and
attitude
.
For example
, the
students
will
Correct pronoun usage
who will
show examples
 have higher marks in languages
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
may have low score in mathematics which shows that the
student
Change noun form
student's
show examples
attitude
for
Change preposition
toward
show examples
 the subject may vary which determine
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 educational score. In conclusion, the
teachers
Change noun form
teacher's
teachers'
show examples
abitlity
Correct your spelling
ability
 and competency
is depend
Change the verb form
depend
show examples
 on the
students
Change to a genitive case
student's
students'
show examples
 performance
however
 the
students
Change to a genitive case
student's
students'
show examples
attitude
 is vital for
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 education
success
.
Submitted by ck.manshad on

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task achievement
Task Response: You should ensure that both views are discussed equally and your personal opinion should be clear and well-supported. You have not fully developed your arguments or provided enough specific examples to support your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: Organize your essay more effectively. While you have paragraphs, the ideas within them could be linked more clearly. Transitions between sentences and ideas should be smoother. Sentence structures are repetitive at times, and there are noticeable spelling and grammar mistakes which hinder the communication of ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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