Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Starting from previous centuries, the majority of states decided to explore new areas, not only through their territory but beyond it,
such
as the ocean or earth,
for instance
. These actions are debatable, as on the one hand,
this
economic resource could be spent on meeting citizen's needs or by improving towns' facilities.
However
, I'm concerned, that by exploring untouchable regions, states can find extra well-quality natural resources which in the future would elevate the country's economic level and
thus
improve the nation's life. I will begin with the most obvious example that we could think of: Israel. Only a few decades ago there was practically nothing there but just sand. What would it be if humans simply started to build castles from raw materials that have been seen,
such
as sand and earth? No exploration operations, no digging or wise theories, in that case, we would have never had a chance to see,
such
a well economically developed country.
In addition
, well-known state that experienced a drastic economic surge, by simply finding oil deposits. UAE is another quite good example of how exploration programs are needed and what results they could bring. My favourite quote '' Who don'
t
take a risk, won'
t
drink champagne'' The point here is that if we stay in our comfort zones and don'
t
even try to go somewhere beyond, we won'
t
reach anything and will eradicate ourselves as humans in the end. Sure, we can work with what was
initially
given to us or we can take a risk and try.
Submitted by dashasokolova068 on

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Introduction and Conclusion
Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, which are necessary for presenting your viewpoint and summarizing the argument. Make sure to include a clear thesis statement in your introduction and a restatement of your main points in the conclusion.
Relevance of Examples
You have presented examples to support your argument, yet they are not entirely relevant to the topic of space exploration. Aim to provide examples that are directly related to the subject matter for a stronger argument.
Logical Structure
The logical structure of your essay could be improved. Present your ideas in a more organized manner with topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader through your argument.
Task Completion
While you addressed the topic of exploration, you failed to directly address the specific debate surrounding space exploration and its merits compared to other national expenditures. Ensure that your response is fully aligned with the given task.
Clarity of Ideas
The clarity of your ideas can be enhanced by providing a more explicit explanation of how the examples support your argument. It's crucial to establish a clear connection between the evidence and your thesis.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • complete waste
  • benefit the nation
  • technological advancements
  • foster
  • international cooperation
  • inspire
  • engage
  • boost the economy
  • long-term benefits
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