Some people think all lawbreakers should be sent to prison, while others think there are better alternatives for those whose crimes are minor, such as making them do work for the local community. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #lawbreakers #prison #alternatives #crimes #work #community

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Some individuals argue that all

criminals

should be sent to prison,

while

others believe that there are better alternatives, especially for minor offences.

This

essay will explore both viewpoints, and I will share my personal stance. On the one hand, some individuals argue that all

criminals

should be sent to prison could be caused by many advantages for the public.

Firstly

, the threat of imprisonment serves as a deterrent,

prevent

Fix the infinitive

to prevent

show examples

potential

offenders

from committing crimes.

Secondly

, incarcerating

criminals

ensures that they are temporarily removed from society to protect folks.

Finally

, some argue that

offenders

deserve punishment, and that being sent to prison is a just consequence for their actions.

On the other hand

, some think that it is not necessary to send every lawbreaker, particularly for those who offend minors. There are some reasons for

this

view. At

first,

community

service offers a chance for

offenders

to rehabilitate and reintegrate into society by learning new skills and responsibilities.

Moreover

offenders

can make amends for their crimes by contributing positively to the

community

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and providing restitution to those affected.

Additionally

, punishing these people by

community

service is often more cost-effective than imprisonment and saving resources. In conclusion, striking a balance between both perspectives is crucial.

While

imprisonment may be necessary for serious

criminals

or repeat

offenders

community

service can be a valuable replacement for minor crimes. In my opinion, prioritizing rehabilitation and addressing the root causes of criminal

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

should be central to the justice system, ultimately aiming to create safer communities and reduce the cycle of crime.

Submitted by Nini on Wed Dec 06 2023

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coherence cohesion

Increase the variety of cohesive devices used to link ideas across and within paragraphs to provide a smoother reading experience.

coherence cohesion

Work on deepening the elaboration in both body paragraphs with more compelling, detailed examples that are relevant to the claims made, to strengthen the argument and make it more persuasive.

task achievement

The essay meets the requirements of the task by discussing both views and providing a personal opinion. However, try to provide a more detailed exposition of the reasons and implications behind each view for a higher score.

task achievement

Be cautious to ensure that the relevance of examples is explicit and clearly linked to support the main points made. Adding statistics or citing studies could also enhance the persuasiveness of the claims.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

lawbreakers
deterrent
rehabilitation
community service
recidivism
incarceration
public safety
cost-effectiveness
infraction
reintegration
punitive measures
reoffending
stigmatization
educational programs
counseling programs
alternative approaches
societal benefits
burden on taxpayers

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Some people think all lawbreakers should be sent to prison, while others think there are better alternatives for those whose crimes are minor, such as making them do work for the local community. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people argue that government should spend their money on elderly people's care. However, other people say that government should focus more on education for young people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Governments spend large amounts of money on art that not all people enjoy. This money could be better spent on things that benefit the majority of the population. Do you agree?

In many countries, a lot of food is wasted. Why do people waste food? How can we reduce the amount of food waste?

Students from disadvantaged families and rural areas are finding it difficult to get a university education in many countries. Some people believe that universities and authorities should help them so that they can get a university education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?