IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Youth crime is increasing rapidly in many countries. Why it is increasing? and what solution can be taken to resolve the problem.

#youth #crime #countries
Youngster crime is rising dramatically in many nations.
However
, The essay describes what is the reason behind
this
 and how we can reduce
this
 societal wrongdoing. To commence with, at present Drug or alcohol abuse among
youth
 can lead to criminal activities either directly through substance-related offenses or indirectly through actions taken under the influence.
For example
,
according to
 expert statistics, in Bangladesh, there is 35% of young person addicted to drugs because of their habits
whereas
 more individuals are involved with destructive things in their surroundings.
In addition
, Poverty, lack of opportunities, and income inequality can lead some youths towards criminal exercises as a means of survival or to attain material possessions. After Effects, they select their earning source in a negative way.
On the other hand
, there are two ways we can reduce
this
 social misconduct in our countries family education & and maintenance and government rules.
Firstly
, parents need to ensure educational opportunities and vocational training to equip youths with skills for employment that can reduce the temptation towards crime.
Secondly
, Building strong
nation
Replace the word
national
show examples
 ties and providing positive outlets for
youth
 through sports, arts, or community service can divert their focus from criminal actions.
As a result
, they can easily be adapted to their outdoor activity and match society.
Besides
, Collaboration between government agencies, state organizations, schools, and families is crucial. Raising awareness about the consequences of
youth
 wrongdoing and available support is equally important.
Moreover
, they can organize some training programmes on how to avoid social offences.
To conclude
, Addressing
youth
 crime requires a holistic approach that considers various social, economic, and psychological factors. Combining preventive measures with rehabilitation and community involvement can be effective in curbing the rising trend of
youth
 involvement in criminal activities.
Submitted by shahid93du.ctg on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Consider creating a more structured and clear outline that leads the reader through your points methodically. Moving from cause to consequence to solutions could make your argument more compelling. Avoid jumping between ideas without clear transitions and connectors.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction fully addresses the question by clearly stating reasons for the increase in youth crime and outlining solutions you will discuss. The conclusion should effectively summarize your main points without introducing new ideas.
task achievement
Focus on directly answering the question in each paragraph. Provide specific examples and explain how each example supports your argument. The correlation between your reasoning and the answer to the question should be unmistakable.
task achievement
Develop your ideas with more detail. Each point should be explored with explanations and examples to demonstrate a deep understanding of the topic and provide a thorough response to the question.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: