Some claim that studying abroad has great benefits for a student’s home country. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Write 250 words.)

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is undeniable that studying
oversea
Fix the agreement mistake
overseas
show examples
became
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
a popular trend nowadays. Some
people
believe that it provides many advantages compared to domestic studying. From my point of view, I agree with
this
statement and the supportive details will be explained in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
, studying abroad is not only about
to extend
Change the verb form
extending
show examples
an academic interest
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
enhance
Wrong verb form
enhancing
show examples
life skills in many aspects. When students live in other
countries
, it enhances
the
Change the word
their
show examples
ability to adapt themselves and
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
more flexibility in their lives to go with the flow.
In addition
,
this
provides a good chance to expand their horizons by meeting various
people
. Students can learn how to respect other
people
and understand more deeply about other worldviews. These life skills are
also
essential for
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
personal growth. Some
people
argue that studying
Correct your spelling
overseas
show examples
oversea
Correct your spelling
overseas
show examples
has a critical drawback; it causes mental illness. Based on social media, it can be seen that many students suffer from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
loneliness
while
living in other
countries
.
However
,
this
problem depends on individuals. In many
countries
, there are many social activities supporting
residences
Replace the word
residents
show examples
to connect with the community which can reduce depression.
For
this
reason, I believe that
this
problem depends on lifestyle and it can be solved easily by trying to make new friends. In conclusion, I support everyone to go outside their home country since
people
can learn and grow up very fast by living in other
countries
. The benefits of studying
oversea
Correct your spelling
overseas
show examples
are greater than domestic studying since it provides more opportunities which are crucial for personal growth.
Submitted by writersdiary101 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay presented a recognisable structure with an introduction and conclusion. However, the progression between your ideas could have been smoother. To improve coherence, it's essential to use more effective linking words and construct paragraphs that logically flow from one to the other.
task achievement
Task response was satisfactory. You've expressed your agreement with the statement and tried to support your view with some arguments. However, your response lacks depth and development. Future essays should include more detailed explanations, justify your points with stronger arguments or cite specific examples that reinforce your stance.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: