New forms of money are becoming extremely popular nowadays. Is this a positive development or adding risk to the system? Should new money technology face greater regulation and scrutiny? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

#forms #money #development #risk #system #technology #face #regulation #scrutiny #minutes

Crypto

money

has been promoted and extremely popular for a few decades.

This

tendency would have the biggest impact on financial development as numerous

gyber

Correct your spelling

cyber

frauds are present these days. I strongly believe that

this

trend will affect society and the federal

government

should play a role in regulating

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Crypto

money

This

essay will expound on my views and conclude the topic. To commence,

Crypto

money

, like Bitcoin, is a decentralised digital currency

money

that operates without a financial system or

government

authorities.

This

new form of

money

utilisers whose peer- to- peer transfers on a digital network that all records all cryptocurrency transactions.

For

this

reason, it is a fact that

this

leads to numerous

gyber

Correct your spelling

cyber

frauds that have been experienced nowadays.

In addition

, many

gyber

Correct your spelling

cyber

users

have met these

gyber

Correct your spelling

cyber

traps when they use Bitcoin for investments and transactions.

Consequently

this

has a negative issue on financial development.

However

, the above issues, the federal

government

should play the right role in addressing

them

Correct your spelling

the

show examples

First,

the

government

authorities would promote some online platforms for funders' running or

gyber

Correct your spelling

cyber

users

' checking the new forms of

money

and current statutes on financial development.

Secondly

, the new forms of

money

can be checked by the authorities when the funders and

users

apply online. By doing

this

, we can mitigate many current cyber frauds in society. In conclusion, based on the statement above, I firmly believe that the new forms of

money

are the highest risk and have to be monitored and managed by the internet

users

who experience

this

crypto

money

This

would benefit human nature.

Submitted by jimmy.wong.wp on Wed Dec 06 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should present the topic and your thesis statement, the body should contain distinct paragraphs each covering a single idea that supports your argument, and the conclusion should effectively summarise your points and restate your position.

coherence cohesion

Work on the logical flow of ideas. Try to make sure that each paragraph connects smoothly to the next with appropriate use of linking words and phrases. Additionally, ensure that sentences within paragraphs are also connected logically and clearly.

task achievement

Develop supporting points more fully. Each central idea should be fleshed out with adequate explanations, arguments, and specific examples. This will make your essay more convincing and your ideas more comprehensive.

task achievement

Avoid using the wrong term, such as 'gyber' instead of 'cyber'. Ensure that task response directly addresses the question, including both aspects of whether it is a positive development or adds risk and if greater regulation and scrutiny should be applied.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cryptocurrencies
Digital payment platforms
Blockchain
Transaction costs
Financial services
Volatility
Consumer protection
Fraud
Financial stability
Regulation
Scrutiny
Innovation
Decentralized finance (DeFi)
Economic landscape
Cybersecurity
Money laundering
Central bank digital currency (CBDC)

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