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Band 4.5

Nowadays social media addiction become trend discuss about causes and effects for this problem?

#media #addiction #trend #effects
Over the
last
 two or three decades, social
media
 has revolutionised our communication as more comfortable and convenient as compared to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ancient times. Even though, at present people are
being
Verb problem
becoming
show examples
 more addicted to utilising social
media
.
Lack
 of confidence and
abundance
Correct article usage
an abundance
show examples
 of spare
time
 are the causes.
This
 essay will discuss it briefly
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the subsequent paragraphs.
To begin
 with, people are
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
 more
addictive
Replace the word
addicted
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 using social
media
 because some does not have
Add an article
the self
show examples
self confidence
Add a hyphen
self-confidence
show examples
 to interact with the population in
face-to -face
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
while
 they choose virtual communication platform to speak to others. Not only speaks but
also
 gets more
friends
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around the world.
For example
, many youth generations have a vast amount of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
international
friends
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social
media
,
in contrast
,
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 do not have as much as
friends
 in their surroundings.
Abundance
Add an article
The abundance
An abundance
show examples
 of spare
time
 is
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
another cause for
this
occurs
Wrong verb form
occurring
show examples
,
hence
, folks like to spend
time
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social
media
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
such
 as chatting with
friends
 and playing online mobile games. These are the main reasons for folks are
being
Verb problem
becoming
show examples
 more addicted
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 social
media
.
This
 phenomenon brings more adverse effects to the population who uses more.
Eye sight
Correct your spelling
Eyesight
show examples
 power might be diminished
due to
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
 and
watch
Wrong verb form
watching
show examples
a long hours
Correct the article-noun agreement
long hours
a long hour
show examples
 without blinking. Children
are
Verb problem
suffer
show examples
 more
suffered in
Verb problem
from
show examples
this
 issue as compared
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
elder
Replace the word
elderly
show examples
.
For example
, a recent survey
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
conducted by the Times of India said that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 more than 60% of the children's eye power has reduced
due to
 using
a long periods
Correct the article-noun agreement
a long period
long periods
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 social
media
.
In addition
, many health and mental issues are brought like obesity and
lack
 of socialising,
as a result
, the public will suffer depression and stress. In conclusion, using a long period
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 social
media
 that become
addict
Wrong verb form
addicted
show examples
due to
the
Change the word
their
show examples
lack
 of confidence and
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 more free
time
.
Lack
 of eyesight
along with
 the health issue are the adverse effects
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
 trend.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but the introduction should clearly paraphrase the question and outline the essay, while the conclusion must summarize the main points and restate your position more definitively. Additionally, the essay should have a more logical flow between paragraphs with clear topic sentences and transitions.
task achievement
To achieve a higher score, it is essential to ensure that all parts of the task are addressed fully. This includes discussing the causes and effects thoroughly. Your content ideas should be more developed and explained with specific examples and details for greater clarity.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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