IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays social media addiction become trend discuss about causes and effects for this problem?

#media #addiction #trend #effects
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Over the
last
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 two or three decades, social
media
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 has revolutionised our communication as more comfortable and convenient as compared to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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ancient times. Even though, at present people are
being
Verb problem
becoming
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 more addicted to utilising social
media
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.
Lack
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 of confidence and
abundance
Correct article usage
an abundance
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 of spare
time
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 are the causes.
This
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 essay will discuss it briefly
for
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in
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 the subsequent paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, people are
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
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 more
addictive
Replace the word
addicted
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of
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to
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 using social
media
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 because some does not have
Add an article
the self
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self confidence
Add a hyphen
self-confidence
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 to interact with the population in
face-to -face
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face-to-face
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while
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 they choose virtual communication platform to speak to others. Not only speaks but
also
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 gets more
friends
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to
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apply
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around the world.
For example
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, many youth generations have a vast amount of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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international
friends
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in
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on
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 social
media
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,
in contrast
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,
the
Correct your spelling
they
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 do not have as much as
friends
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 in their surroundings.
Abundance
Add an article
The abundance
An abundance
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 of spare
time
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 is
the
Remove the article
apply
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another cause for
this
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occurs
Wrong verb form
occurring
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,
hence
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, folks like to spend
time
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in
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on
show examples
 social
media
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platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
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such
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 as chatting with
friends
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 and playing online mobile games. These are the main reasons for folks are
being
Verb problem
becoming
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 more addicted
in
Change preposition
to
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 social
media
Use synonyms
.
This
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 phenomenon brings more adverse effects to the population who uses more.
Eye sight
Correct your spelling
Eyesight
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 power might be diminished
due to
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use
Wrong verb form
using
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 and
watch
Wrong verb form
watching
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a long hours
Correct the article-noun agreement
long hours
a long hour
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 without blinking. Children
are
Verb problem
suffer
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 more
suffered in
Verb problem
from
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this
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 issue as compared
the
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to the
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elder
Replace the word
elderly
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.
For example
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, a recent survey
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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conducted by the Times of India said that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 more than 60% of the children's eye power has reduced
due to
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 using
a long periods
Correct the article-noun agreement
a long period
long periods
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in
Change preposition
of
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 social
media
Use synonyms
.
In addition
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, many health and mental issues are brought like obesity and
lack
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 of socialising,
as a result
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, the public will suffer depression and stress. In conclusion, using a long period
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 social
media
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 that become
addict
Wrong verb form
addicted
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due to
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the
Change the word
their
show examples
lack
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 of confidence and
have
Wrong verb form
having
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 more free
time
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.
Lack
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 of eyesight
along with
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 the health issue are the adverse effects
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
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 trend.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but the introduction should clearly paraphrase the question and outline the essay, while the conclusion must summarize the main points and restate your position more definitively. Additionally, the essay should have a more logical flow between paragraphs with clear topic sentences and transitions.
task achievement
To achieve a higher score, it is essential to ensure that all parts of the task are addressed fully. This includes discussing the causes and effects thoroughly. Your content ideas should be more developed and explained with specific examples and details for greater clarity.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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