Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinions?

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Music
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plays an essential role in our everyday life. We listen
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to music
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music
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to music
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every day and
even
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apply
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sometimes do not realize it. There are many resources where we can listen to
music
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. We listen to the radio
while
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driving our cars. We turn on the TV and watch movies where
music
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influence
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influences
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our mind
an
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and
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makes
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people’s
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people
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tremble at the fear. For several
reason
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reasons
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, which I will mention
bellow
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below
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, I believe that
music
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is a good way to bring
people
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of different cultures and ages together. So
that
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apply
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music
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is important to humankind. First of all,
music
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is one of the best
way
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ways
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to relax after
stressful
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a stressful
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day. Many
people
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prefer to listen to
music
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in the evening.
For example
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, I like to
listen
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listen to
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pop
music
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. I
has
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have
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listened
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listened to
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songs
with
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by
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famous international or national singers. Second of all,
music
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often helps
people
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to cheer up. Personally, when something is bothering me, I prefer to turn on my radio and listen to some of my favourite songs. It helps me to feel better about everything. Leave my troubles behind and enjoy my life. Nowadays,
people
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gather and listen to
music
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around a concert. I am sure that many
people
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will agree with me on
this
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issue.
Finally
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,
music
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plays an essential role in different ceremonies.
For example
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, I think it is rather difficult to imagine a wedding without solemn
music
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or the Olympic Games without anthems. In conclusion, I think that
music
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is
the
Correct article usage
a
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unique language, which is understood by everyone all over the planet.
Music
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is a great way of bringing
people
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of different cultures and ages together.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
Ensure you have a clear opinion stated in the introduction and conclusion. Your essay agrees with the statement, but the opinion is not clearly defined in either the introduction or conclusion. Use statements like 'I strongly believe that...' or 'In my opinion...' to clarify your stance.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas and paragraphs, but avoid overusing them. Transition phrases like 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', and 'Consequently' can help with flow, but make sure each paragraph naturally follows the previous one.
coherence cohesion
Structure your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each main point should be in its own paragraph. Make sure your introduction includes a thesis statement that outlines the main points you will discuss.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. General statements like 'music is important to humankind' need to be illustrated with specific, relevant examples to strengthen the argument. Personal anecdotes can be effective, but try to also include examples that have broader cultural or social relevance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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