In recent years, the pressure on schools and university students has been increasing. And they are pushed to work hard at a very young age. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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In recent years, educational institutions and their
students
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have faced an increasing strain.
Moreover
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, they are obligated to exert substantial endeavour from a young age.
Nevertheless
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, I wholeheartedly concur with the adverse consequences that arise when schools persist in employing the identical educational standards as those in our nation. In light of my observation, it is imperative to modify all the educational standards in our nation since they are not conducive to pupils in rural regions. The government must comprehend the specific needs of children residing in areas with internet connectivity in order to meet their requirements effectively. From my understanding, kids often face pressure from their parents
due to
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the high expectations parents have for their children. They delegate the obligations to an educator who instructs the
students
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in the educational institution. Presently, the academic requirements in Sorong differ significantly from those of earlier generations.
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, pressure entails other detrimental consequences,
such
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as mental health disorders, exhaustion, and diminished motivation for acquiring knowledge.
Conversely
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, there are certain advantageous elements that we may derive from
this
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form of teaching. The advantageous characteristics of pushing pupils include the cultivation of a competitive mindset and readiness for real-life obstacles. It is important to adequately equip
students
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for post-graduation life in order to gain admission into their desired public institution. To summarise, notwithstanding the negative consequences associated with
this
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particular educational objective, it is beneficial to provide our
students
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with the skills necessary to navigate a period characterised by significant changes and disruptions.
As a result
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, they can develop a well-defined strategy for my future endeavours.
Submitted by muhammadluthfidzulfikar on

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Coherence and Cohesion
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic excellence
  • competitive spirit
  • parental expectations
  • stress levels
  • educational demands
  • real-world challenges
  • mental health
  • academic burnout
  • personal well-being
  • cultural differences
  • alternative education
  • developmental pace
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