Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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As we consider , There is a significant change in how different
countries
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make
money
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and lead the power by their
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economic
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economy
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economic
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situation and it causes
money
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problems and poverty to the
countries
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which they have less to say in
this
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major. So, in order to solve poverty in these
countries
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, rich
countries
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have
startet
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started
to give
money
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to poorer
countries
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which is not enough and
i
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I
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agree with
this
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statement because
money
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can'
t
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solve every problem. So, you are going to read about
this
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agreement which I discussed in
this
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essay. We have poor
countries
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in the world and they have been helped by rich
countries
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during these years ,
For example
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, some African
countries
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suffer from poverty and lack of food and water . Of
course
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course,
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money
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can help them but we have to consider the water situation and
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Also
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also
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the lack of medicine.
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, the rich government can provide healthcare facilities in those
countries
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which I found more
usefull
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useful
and convenient .
Moreover
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, we have some poor
countries
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that they can'
t
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provide educational facilities .
Such
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as
,
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apply
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schools , teachers , libraries and
extra
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more
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. These people
also
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need to be more educated and be more familiar with
modern
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the modern
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world
which
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and
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money
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can'
t
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help
through
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apply
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this
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.
Hence
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,
instead
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of giving them
money
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we can hire hardworking teachers and build
variety
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a variety
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of schools in those poor areas and spend the
money
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in
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on
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goods. In conclusion , there are some
issuses
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issues
that the
money
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can'
t
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fix or the government of
that
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apply
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poor
countries
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don'
t
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no
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apply
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have to spend it that could lead to progress . So , you can do some actions in order to help them
instead
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of giving them cash only.
Submitted by amirrezadelghandi3 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks coherence due to disjointed sentences and paragraphs. Consider carefully planning each paragraph with a clear main idea and logical sequencers to enhance flow.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion need to provide a more clear thesis statement and summary of main points. Ensure the conclusion restates your position clearly with no new information.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with detailed and relevant examples. The inclusion of specific evidence strengthens the argument and demonstrates a thorough understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Complete the response by more fully addressing the prompt and showing a full understanding of the question. Make sure each point you raise is relevant to the essay's prompt.
task achievement
Ensure that the ideas presented are clear and comprehensive. Avoid general statements and focus on providing an argument that is structured and developed with clarity and depth.
task achievement
Use examples that are relevant and specific to support your argument. Avoid vague statements and generalize less to add weight to your points. Where possible, use statistics, case studies, or quotations.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
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