Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #money #poverty #aid

As we consider , There is a significant change in how different

countries

make

money

and lead the power by their

Replace the word

economic

show examples

economy

Replace the word

economic

show examples

situation and it causes

money

problems and poverty to the

countries

which they have less to say in

this

major. So, in order to solve poverty in these

countries

, rich

countries

have

startet

Correct your spelling

started

to give

money

to poorer

countries

which is not enough and

Change the capitalization

show examples

agree with

this

statement because

money

can'

solve every problem. So, you are going to read about

this

agreement which I discussed in

this

essay. We have poor

countries

in the world and they have been helped by rich

countries

during these years ,

For example

, some African

countries

suffer from poverty and lack of food and water . Of

course

Add a comma

course,

show examples

money

can help them but we have to consider the water situation and

Also

Fix capitalization

also

show examples

the lack of medicine.

Hence

, the rich government can provide healthcare facilities in those

countries

which I found more

usefull

Correct your spelling

useful

and convenient .

Moreover

, we have some poor

countries

that they can'

provide educational facilities .

Such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

schools , teachers , libraries and

extra

Correct word choice

show examples

. These people

also

need to be more educated and be more familiar with

modern

Correct article usage

the modern

show examples

world

which

Correct word choice

and

show examples

money

can'

help

through

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

Hence

instead

of giving them

money

we can hire hardworking teachers and build

variety

Add an article

a variety

show examples

of schools in those poor areas and spend the

money

Change preposition

show examples

goods. In conclusion , there are some

issuses

Correct your spelling

issues

that the

money

can'

fix or the government of

that

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

poor

countries

don'

Rewrite the sentence

apply

show examples

have to spend it that could lead to progress . So , you can do some actions in order to help them

instead

of giving them cash only.

Submitted by amirrezadelghandi3 on Wed Dec 06 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay lacks coherence due to disjointed sentences and paragraphs. Consider carefully planning each paragraph with a clear main idea and logical sequencers to enhance flow.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion need to provide a more clear thesis statement and summary of main points. Ensure the conclusion restates your position clearly with no new information.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points with detailed and relevant examples. The inclusion of specific evidence strengthens the argument and demonstrates a thorough understanding of the topic.

task achievement

Complete the response by more fully addressing the prompt and showing a full understanding of the question. Make sure each point you raise is relevant to the essay's prompt.

task achievement

Ensure that the ideas presented are clear and comprehensive. Avoid general statements and focus on providing an argument that is structured and developed with clarity and depth.

task achievement

Use examples that are relevant and specific to support your argument. Avoid vague statements and generalize less to add weight to your points. Where possible, use statistics, case studies, or quotations.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

287 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

poverty alleviation
economic inequality
developing nations
foreign aid
sustainable growth
technical assistance
expertise
infrastructure
education
fair trade
trade barriers
sustainable development
environmental conservation

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Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Today, anybody can use a mobile phone to answer the work and personal calls at any time or 7 days a week. Does this development have more positive or negative effects on both individuals and society?

Some people believe that children should start school as early as possible, while others believe that children should begin school when they are at least 7 years old. Discuss both views and give your opinion.