Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As we consider , There is a significant change in how different
countries
make
money
and lead the power by their
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economic
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economy
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economic
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situation and it causes
money
problems and poverty to the
countries
which they have less to say in
this
major. So, in order to solve poverty in these
countries
, rich
countries
have
startet
Correct your spelling
started
to give
money
to poorer
countries
which is not enough and
i
Change the capitalization
I
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agree with
this
statement because
money
can'
t
solve every problem. So, you are going to read about
this
agreement which I discussed in
this
essay. We have poor
countries
in the world and they have been helped by rich
countries
during these years ,
For example
, some African
countries
suffer from poverty and lack of food and water . Of
course
Add a comma
course,
show examples
money
can help them but we have to consider the water situation and
Also
Fix capitalization
also
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the lack of medicine.
Hence
, the rich government can provide healthcare facilities in those
countries
which I found more
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
and convenient .
Moreover
, we have some poor
countries
that they can'
t
provide educational facilities .
Such
as
,
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apply
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schools , teachers , libraries and
extra
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more
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. These people
also
need to be more educated and be more familiar with
modern
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the modern
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world
which
Correct word choice
and
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money
can'
t
help
through
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
.
Hence
,
instead
of giving them
money
we can hire hardworking teachers and build
variety
Add an article
a variety
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of schools in those poor areas and spend the
money
in
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on
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goods. In conclusion , there are some
issuses
Correct your spelling
issues
that the
money
can'
t
fix or the government of
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
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poor
countries
don'
t
no
Rewrite the sentence
apply
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have to spend it that could lead to progress . So , you can do some actions in order to help them
instead
of giving them cash only.
Submitted by amirrezadelghandi3 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks coherence due to disjointed sentences and paragraphs. Consider carefully planning each paragraph with a clear main idea and logical sequencers to enhance flow.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion need to provide a more clear thesis statement and summary of main points. Ensure the conclusion restates your position clearly with no new information.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with detailed and relevant examples. The inclusion of specific evidence strengthens the argument and demonstrates a thorough understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Complete the response by more fully addressing the prompt and showing a full understanding of the question. Make sure each point you raise is relevant to the essay's prompt.
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Ensure that the ideas presented are clear and comprehensive. Avoid general statements and focus on providing an argument that is structured and developed with clarity and depth.
task achievement
Use examples that are relevant and specific to support your argument. Avoid vague statements and generalize less to add weight to your points. Where possible, use statistics, case studies, or quotations.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
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