IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

museums and art galleries will not be needed because people can see historical objects and works of art by using a computer. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion

#museums #art #galleries #people #objects #works #computer
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Nowadays, many people
convinced
Add a missing verb
are convinced
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 that
museums
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 and
art
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galleries
Use synonyms
 are not useful anymore, since we have access to any painting online.
However
Linking Words
, I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, because places like that are irreplaceable and have way more things to show
comparing
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 with the
art
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 one can see by using a
computer
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.
Art
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museums
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 are
essential
Add an article
an essential
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 part of any country
due to
Linking Words
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 uniqueness.
Museums
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 have always been a provider of
creator's
Correct article usage
the creator's
show examples
 ideas,
as well as
Linking Words
 the narrator of certain world's issues.
For example
Linking Words
, a lot of
paintings
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 were created to illustrate any kind of problems that are going on in a specific country or
a
Correct article usage
apply
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nation.
That is
Linking Words
 why, having an opportunity to see them in real life is much better for
viewer
Fix the agreement mistake
viewers
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 to get into it deeper.
Thus
Linking Words
,
art
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galleries
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 display people a
big
Correct word choice
large
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 number of real-life
paintings
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 or
hostotical
Correct your spelling
historical
 objects, which no one can see the same as they are from a screen.
In addition
Linking Words
, visiting
galleries
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 and
museums
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 might lead the viewers to indescribable emotions and thoughts, which can not be felt by using a
computer
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. In my opinion,
paintings
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 are
such
Linking Words
 a unique thing that should always be seen in real life, because it is way easier to understand and feel it that way.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, by seeing pieces of
art
Use synonyms
 face-to-face, a man would
also
Linking Words
 see the actual size of it and by that have different emotions compared to the online painting's picture. In conclusion, looking
to
Change preposition
at
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 a painting can be done by a
computer
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's screen.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, I believe that it is still important to go to the actual
art
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galleries
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 or
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
museums
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 in order to see any
art
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 objects or
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
paintings
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since no
computer
Use synonyms
 or any other gadget can reproduce a certain work of
art
Use synonyms
's emotions and existence.
Submitted by aab705041 on

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coherence cohesion
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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