Some people think that shops should not be allowed to sell food or drink that has been scientifically proved to be bad for people's health. Do you agree or disagree?

It is often argued that shopkeepers should not promote food products which are scientifically justified to cause significant negative
impacts
on human health.
This
essay completely agrees with
this
statement because it leads to unhealthy lifestyles and affects
people
with dreadful diseases
such
as obesity and high blood pressure.
This
essay will discuss the same and my opinion in detail with relevant examples.
To begin
with,
people
are highly influenced to buy
such
items if stores continue their advertisements.
That is
to say that, the masses are tempted to drink soft drinks
such
as Coke or Pepsi even though they know that it would cause potential
impacts
on their health
due to
the availability of high sugar content which often leads to issues
such
as obesity.
However
, if businesses restrain from selling
such
products and switch to options like making fresh juices with no added sugars encourage everyone to accustom healthy eating habits.
For instance
, in India, the government have banned the sales of soft drinks which has resulted in more fresh fruit juice stores across every street.
Secondly
, conventional foods are another aspect to be considered.
In other words
, packaged foods have been experimented with by researchers and declared that it had devastating
impacts
on humans which lead to heart disease and high cholesterol. Despite
this
awareness, fast food still
promoting
Wrong verb form
promote
show examples
their businesses by selling dishes that are high in salt content.
Therefore
, preventing them from doing so will inculcate healthy dietary options and reduce the severity of
such
diseases.
For example
, it is evident that
people
who do not consume street foods live longer than expected. In conclusion, it is believed that stores should stop selling eatables that are proven to be unhealthy. I totally agree with
this
argument concerning the severe health
impacts
which lead to lowering the life span of
people
.
Submitted by jeeanay on

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coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates overall clear progression with an appropriate introduction and conclusion. Ideas are generally organized and some examples are effectively used to support the main points. To improve, aim to vary the sentence structures and connectors for better coherence. Additionally, ensure that paragraphs logically flow from one to the next with clearer topic sentences and better-developed ideas.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task and presents relevant ideas, yet at times simplistic expressions are used. Enhance the task response by exploring the complexities of the argument more deeply and discussing potential counterarguments and solutions. Strive for a more balanced discussion that reflects a nuanced understanding of the topic, while remaining focused on the question posed.

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