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Band 5

Environmental problems are too big for individual countries or individual people to address. In other words,we have reached the stage where the only way to protect the environment is at an international level. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #people #address #stage #environment #level
Undoubtedly, increasing
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
issues
 are caused in the contemporary era. Some people contend that these can be solved only by uniting worldwide rather than being solved by a certain country or person. From my perspective, I completely agree that it is the whole world's
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
show examples
 to address
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental problems.
To begin
 with, resources can be better allocated with international
cooperations
Fix the agreement mistake
cooperation
show examples
, because development levels
are vary
Change the verb form
vary
show examples
 differently in every country, making it difficult for some areas to deal with the
issues
 independently, especially in developing areas.
Hence
, developed
countries
 should take more
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
show examples
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 it, assisting others with their more advanced technologies and methods.
In contrast
,
due to
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 and social stress, some
countries
 would rather give up on addressing problems and make
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 more severe
ever since
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.
Additionally
, it cannot be solved by people individually, since heavy industry and some fields
such
 as paper-making are the biggest polluters, making it calls for international power to
coodinate
Correct your spelling
coordinate
.
For example
, there exist severe environmental
issues
 in some developing
countries
 which pollute people's water
resouces
Correct your spelling
resources
 and destroy wildlife's habitats.
Nevertheless
,
this
phonomenon
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
 is caused by some developed
one
Fix the agreement mistake
ones
show examples
 rather than these
countries
 themselves.
Hence
, sustainability is not a single question for any country, it is the
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
show examples
 of all human beings and nations. It is true that environmental
issues
 are caused by accumulation on a daily basis,
everyone
Correct word choice
and everyone
show examples
 should pay attention to that.
However
, it can be improved unless governments make determinations to take measures to solve
itt
Correct your spelling
it
 and raise
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
show examples
 awareness,
such
 as making advertisements and doing punishment. In conclusion, I strongly believe that the merits of the whole world's coordination outweigh their drawbacks on
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
issues
.
Submitted by gaott0617 on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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