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Writing Samples
Band 6

Many governments think that economic progress is the most important goal. Some think that the other type of progress is equally important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some governments consider economic development as the most significant aim,
while
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, others believe that noneconomical progressions are of the same importance. I personally believe that economic modification is the chief goal that can guarantee the improvement of other qualifications as well,
according to
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 the welfare provision for the
country
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's residents and refinement in international interactions which are results of economic empowerment.
Firstly
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, as the economic condition becomes better, residents are able to provide a higher number of their needs,
consequently
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, social satisfaction level with the government performance increases.
This
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 issue will make the politicians motivated for
further
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 improvement in the economy as well.
Furthermore
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, many problematic concepts may automatically be eliminated as the economic condition is better namely brain drain which is a serious problem directly affected by the level of welfare.
Secondly
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, no matter how non-economically developed the
country
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 is, its international collaborations will be limited as it cannot undergo the relevant expenditures.
For instance
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, when a
country
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 wants to profit from an international project, it needs to pay off its quota in expenses to gain the profit of revenue operation
consequently
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.
For
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this
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 reason, other sides of the contradiction prefer to negotiate with a more wealthy party and do not share the valuable project with countries suffering economic problems.
On the other hand
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, many of the government's goals are vital and they are irrelevant to the economy.
For example
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, the level of education can help governments improve their
country
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's quality of life,
however
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, it is directly affected by the mindset of residents and nothing can persuade people to become determined to continue their education except their inner eagerness.
In addition
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, if the
country
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's economic condition improves, the majority of youngsters are not likely to continue their studies or become an expert academically,
therefore
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, the
country
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 is required to accept experts as immigrants which may have side effects as well. In conclusion, economic betterment must be the first and most important target of the governments that result in resident and international collaboration improvement. Even though, there are many other desires than the economy which are
also
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 principal.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Please ensure that your essay has a clear and logical organization. Your ideas would benefit from a more structured presentation, with logical transitions and clear topic sentences to introduce each paragraph.
Task Achievement
While you addressed the task, the response was somewhat unclear. Spend more time developing and explaining your main points to provide a more comprehensive argument. Ensure that your opinion is stated clearly throughout, not just in the conclusion.
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