You are going to write a for-and-against essay about whether spending time indoors or outdoors is better for our well-being.

Nowadays, it can be observed that the majority of
people
from all around the world prefer to spend their leisure
time
indoors. The trend which is becoming popular
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
society can cause numerous physical and mental disorders.
On the other hand
, spending
time
outdoors improves our general
conditions
of
health
.
Firstly
, it is noticeable that in the contemporary
lifestyle
Add a comma
lifestyle,
show examples
people
are not able to spend a significant part of their
time
outdoors for leisure activities. It’s caused by developing online technologies, which are transforming our everyday routine. They are widely spreading in a considerable part of our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
: work and studies.
For instance
, nowadays there are lots of employees who are working remotely from their homes.
Consequently
,
people
changed their model of lifestyle. It leads to illnesses which are related to our mental and physical
health
, and play a significant role
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
our general
conditions
and feelings. The most common of them are mental anxiety and skeletal diseases. On the other side, spending
time
outdoors and in the countryside is becoming underrated among humans nowadays.
However
, it has a positive influence on our
health
and quality of life. If
people
live or visit some places, which are located outside the city and outdoors, they will notice an upward trend in reducing anxiety and skeletal illnesses. In general,
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
places have high-quality
conditions
of air, because most of them are located in forests and surrounded by numerous trees.
This
effect plays a considerable role in our
health
.
For example
, when
people
consume clean air, the oxygenation in their bodies goes up rapidly. It leads to improvements related to the cognitive functions of our brain.
Also
, outdoor activities require some exercises and physical movements, which have a positive impact on our physical
conditions
. In conclusion,
indoors
Correct your spelling
indoor
show examples
lifestyle has a negative impact on our
health
and leads to mental disorders. The points play a considerable role in the
conditions
of our lives.
However
, spending
time
outdoors has the opposite impact. It remains stable, supports, and improves our
health
condition.
Submitted by fedorusa2016 on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure that your essay has a clear structure with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea that is developed and expanded upon.
coherence cohesion
Introduce the topic clearly in the introduction, ensuring that your thesis statement outlines the scope of the discussion about whether spending time indoors or outdoors is better for well-being.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing effectively so that each idea flows logically to the next. Avoid overly complex sentence structures that may obscure meaning and decrease the essay's coherence.
task achievement
Fully respond to the task by providing a balanced discussion that addresses both sides of the argument about spending time indoors versus outdoors. Ensure that your conclusion summarises the main points and clearly states your position based on the discussion.
task achievement
Develop your main ideas with clear and comprehensive points. Support these points with relevant, specific examples or evidence to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Offer more specific examples and data to substantiate your claims. Examples can be drawn from genuine studies, reports, or personal experiences that are directly relevant to the topic.
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