You are going to write a for-and-against essay about whether spending time indoors or outdoors is better for our well-being.

#for-and-against #time #indoors

Nowadays, it can be observed that the majority of

people

from all around the world prefer to spend their leisure

time

indoors. The trend which is becoming popular

among

Change preposition

show examples

society can cause numerous physical and mental disorders.

On the other hand

, spending

time

outdoors improves our general

conditions

health

Firstly

, it is noticeable that in the contemporary

lifestyle

Add a comma

lifestyle,

show examples

people

are not able to spend a significant part of their

time

outdoors for leisure activities. It’s caused by developing online technologies, which are transforming our everyday routine. They are widely spreading in a considerable part of our

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

: work and studies.

For instance

, nowadays there are lots of employees who are working remotely from their homes.

Consequently

people

changed their model of lifestyle. It leads to illnesses which are related to our mental and physical

health

, and play a significant role

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our general

conditions

and feelings. The most common of them are mental anxiety and skeletal diseases. On the other side, spending

time

outdoors and in the countryside is becoming underrated among humans nowadays.

However

, it has a positive influence on our

health

and quality of life. If

people

live or visit some places, which are located outside the city and outdoors, they will notice an upward trend in reducing anxiety and skeletal illnesses. In general,

this

Change the determiner

these

show examples

places have high-quality

conditions

of air, because most of them are located in forests and surrounded by numerous trees.

This

effect plays a considerable role in our

health

For example

, when

people

consume clean air, the oxygenation in their bodies goes up rapidly. It leads to improvements related to the cognitive functions of our brain.

Also

, outdoor activities require some exercises and physical movements, which have a positive impact on our physical

conditions

. In conclusion,

indoors

Correct your spelling

indoor

show examples

lifestyle has a negative impact on our

health

and leads to mental disorders. The points play a considerable role in the

conditions

of our lives.

However

, spending

time

outdoors has the opposite impact. It remains stable, supports, and improves our

health

condition.

Submitted by fedorusa2016 on Thu Dec 07 2023

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coherence cohesion

Make sure that your essay has a clear structure with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea that is developed and expanded upon.

coherence cohesion

Introduce the topic clearly in the introduction, ensuring that your thesis statement outlines the scope of the discussion about whether spending time indoors or outdoors is better for well-being.

coherence cohesion

Use a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing effectively so that each idea flows logically to the next. Avoid overly complex sentence structures that may obscure meaning and decrease the essay's coherence.

task achievement

Fully respond to the task by providing a balanced discussion that addresses both sides of the argument about spending time indoors versus outdoors. Ensure that your conclusion summarises the main points and clearly states your position based on the discussion.

task achievement

Develop your main ideas with clear and comprehensive points. Support these points with relevant, specific examples or evidence to strengthen your argument.

task achievement

Offer more specific examples and data to substantiate your claims. Examples can be drawn from genuine studies, reports, or personal experiences that are directly relevant to the topic.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

336 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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You are going to write a for-and-against essay about whether spending time indoors or outdoors is better for our well-being.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

To solve the problem of environmental pollution we need to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problems is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this situation?

Some people think that social media platforms are useful for business and making new friends, while others think that such websites are harmful. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of social media.

Some parents are worried about the increasing level of violence in tv, video games and other type of entertainment for children's leisure. How does this effect children? How do you think problem can be tackles?

In many countries, students take a year gap after finishing school and work or travel during this period. Should students take a gap year before attending universities? What are the advantages and disadvantages of it?