Many parents send their children abroad to study. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages about the phenomenon./Discuss the benefits and drawbacks of this.
Nowadays, many parents send their
children
abroad to study
. There are several advantages and disadvantages of this
trend. In this
essay, I will discuss both of the phenomena.
There are myriad advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad. To begin
with, students
get better education and consequently
, get better job
. Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
For instance
, in many developing countries parents are sacrificing their lifestyle for the sack of their offspring’s better education. The number of this
type of individuals who are very willing to send their children
to
abroad for higher Change preposition
apply
study
is escalating day by day. Secondly
, these students
get chance
to learn different languages for living in a foreign country. Almost every student who goes Correct article usage
a chance
to
abroadRemove the preposition
apply
,
needs to know the English language which is an international language. Learning Remove the comma
apply
English
language is very beneficial for building up Change the article
the English
self-confident
.
In spite of these Replace the word
self-confidence
benefits
there are some disadvantages of studying Add a comma
benefits,
is
abroad. Unnecessary verb
apply
Firstly
, many students
feel alone in
abroad Change preposition
apply
get
homesick. Sometimes, they can not concentrate on Correct word choice
and get
study
because of their loneliness. Many students
get mentally and physically sick in the different culture
and weather of a different country. Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
As a result
, students
get poor grades in exams and do not get any good job
. Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
For
this
reason, unemployment is occurred
.
Change to the active voice
occurs
has occurred
To conclude
, sending children
abroad to study
has multiple pros and cons. Parents should consider both side
before sending their Change to a plural noun
sides
children
abroad to higher study
.Submitted by tanvir0507 on
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coherence cohesion
To improve your score in logical structure, ensure that your ideas flow naturally from one to the next with clear connections. Use cohesive devices like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'In conclusion' accurately and consider varying them to avoid repetition and to demonstrate a wider range of language.
coherence cohesion
Maintain your introduction and conclusion as they effectively frame the essay. Aim for a more impactful final conclusion that summarises your main points and clearly states your overall perspective.
coherence cohesion
Combat repetition of ideas by expanding on them or providing deeper analysis. Instead of reiterating points, delve into how specific advantages or disadvantages impact students and their families.
task achievement
Ensure your essay fully addresses all parts of the task, maintaining relevance throughout. Offer a balanced view on both advantages and disadvantages to make your response complete.
task achievement
Seek clarity and depth in the development of your ideas. Rather than making general statements, focus on articulating your points more comprehensively through detailed argumentation or analysis.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to substantiate your arguments. These examples should be relevant and effectively illustrate your points, enhancing the overall persuasiveness of your essay.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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