Many parents send their children abroad to study. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages about the phenomenon./Discuss the benefits and drawbacks of this.

#parents #children #study #phenomenon

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Nowadays, many parents send their

children

Use synonyms

abroad to

study

Use synonyms

. There are several advantages and disadvantages of

this

Linking Words

trend. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss both of the phenomena. There are myriad advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad.

To begin

Linking Words

with,

students

Use synonyms

get better education and

consequently

Linking Words

, get better

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

, in many developing countries parents are sacrificing their lifestyle for the sack of their offspring’s better education. The number of

this

Linking Words

type of individuals who are very willing to send their

children

Use synonyms

Change preposition

apply

show examples

abroad for higher

study

Use synonyms

is escalating day by day.

Secondly

Linking Words

, these

students

Use synonyms

get

chance

Correct article usage

a chance

show examples

to learn different languages for living in a foreign country. Almost every student who goes

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

abroad

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

needs to know the English language which is an international language. Learning

English

Change the article

the English

show examples

language is very beneficial for building up

self-confident

Replace the word

self-confidence

show examples

. In spite of these

benefits

Add a comma

benefits,

show examples

there are some disadvantages of studying

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

abroad.

Firstly

Linking Words

, many

students

Use synonyms

feel alone

Change preposition

apply

show examples

abroad

get

Correct word choice

and get

show examples

homesick. Sometimes, they can not concentrate on

study

Use synonyms

because of their loneliness. Many

students

Use synonyms

get mentally and physically sick in the different

culture

Fix the agreement mistake

cultures

show examples

and weather of a different country.

As a result

Linking Words

students

Use synonyms

get poor grades in exams and do not get any good

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

For

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason, unemployment

is occurred

Change to the active voice

occurs

has occurred

show examples

To conclude

Linking Words

, sending

children

Use synonyms

abroad to

study

Use synonyms

has multiple pros and cons. Parents should consider both

side

Change to a plural noun

sides

show examples

before sending their

children

Use synonyms

abroad to higher

study

Use synonyms

Submitted by tanvir0507 on Thu Dec 07 2023

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coherence cohesion

To improve your score in logical structure, ensure that your ideas flow naturally from one to the next with clear connections. Use cohesive devices like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'In conclusion' accurately and consider varying them to avoid repetition and to demonstrate a wider range of language.

coherence cohesion

Maintain your introduction and conclusion as they effectively frame the essay. Aim for a more impactful final conclusion that summarises your main points and clearly states your overall perspective.

coherence cohesion

Combat repetition of ideas by expanding on them or providing deeper analysis. Instead of reiterating points, delve into how specific advantages or disadvantages impact students and their families.

task achievement

Ensure your essay fully addresses all parts of the task, maintaining relevance throughout. Offer a balanced view on both advantages and disadvantages to make your response complete.

task achievement

Seek clarity and depth in the development of your ideas. Rather than making general statements, focus on articulating your points more comprehensively through detailed argumentation or analysis.

task achievement

Incorporate more specific examples to substantiate your arguments. These examples should be relevant and effectively illustrate your points, enhancing the overall persuasiveness of your essay.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

233 words

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Many parents send their children abroad to study. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages about the phenomenon./Discuss the benefits and drawbacks of this.

Word Count

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