IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

With a fast pace of modern life, more and more people are turning towards fast food for their main meal. Do you think the advantage outweigh the disadvantage?

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In the modern lifestyle, the increasing trend of many people choosing fast
food
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 as their main meal brings about certain benefits but
also
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 results in some negative consequences. In my opinion,
health
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 is the most important aspect of human life, so I believe over-using quick-serve
meals
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 should be avoided. People should prepare quality cuisine for their lives,
moreover
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, excessive use of plastic utensils and packing in junk
food
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 has a significant impact on the environment.
Therefore
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, I fully agree that fast
food
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 should not be used as the main meal for the family.
First,
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speaking about the most apparent benefit of ready-to-eat
meals
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 is convenient and quick, it saves time compared to cooking
meals
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 at home.
Furthermore
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, often, convenience
food
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 is cheaper compared to dining at restaurants or preparing homemade cuisine.
For example
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, after a long day at work,
instead
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 of spending time cooking
meals
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 at home or waiting in restaurants, people can order
food
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 delivery through various applications, often accompanied by numerous discount codes.
On the other hand
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, these advantages of takeaway
food
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 come with significant drawbacks. One of the most crucial is the impact on
health
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, on-the-go cuisine often contains a high amount of unhealthy fats, sugar, and salt, contributing to weight gain and
health
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 issues
such
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 as obesity, heart disease, and diabetes.
In addition
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, the production and packing of waste in takeout
food
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 contribute significantly to environmental pollution and generate substantial amounts of waste.
For instance
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, the hamburger is the most popular fast
food
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 item today, which contains meat high in saturated fats and sodium,
along with
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 buns containing sugar and various sauces that can contribute to weight gain and
health
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 issues, hamburgers are typically packaged in cardboard boxes and plastic bags, which can contribute waste to the environment.
To conclude
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,
while
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 the convenience offered by fast
food
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 aligns with the demands of modern life, its drawbacks, including adverse effects on
health
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 and the environment, cannot be overlooked. It's imperative to strike a balance, limiting the consumption of fast
food
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 to ensure a healthier future for both individuals and the planet.

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Improvement Suggestions

2
coherence cohesion

To improve in coherence and cohesion, ensure that your essay has a clear logical structure, with each paragraph presenting a singular idea that connects to the overall argument. Transition words and cohesive devices should be used appropriately to guide the reader smoothly from one point to the next.

task achievement

In regards to task achievement, ensure that the essay fully responds to all parts of the prompt. Your essay should present clear, comprehensive ideas backed up by relevant, specific examples. Demonstrating the ability to discuss both sides of an argument before reaching a conclusion can help in achieving a higher score.

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