With the growing population of cities, more and more people live in homes that have little or no outdoor area. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.
In the modern era, the population in certain nations is increasing at an incredible rate. Well,
due to
more occupants, the rate of houses built with no outdoor areas is increasing and a part of the society believes that it is a positive development of the country but remaining
to reject the notion. Wrong verb form
remains
According to
my opinion, the latter view seems to be more significant so, the reasons behind this
will be explicated in upcoming paragraphs. Thus
, will lead to a logical conclusion as well.
To begin
with, the most prominent reason is that the peers are given no space
for outdoor games. Therefore
, it has a disruptive effect on the growth of children as their physical growth gets ruined. For instance
, if the houses do not have any back or front gardens juveniles can not play outside as a result
their minds are forced to play video games by sitting inside and this
is quite harmful for
psychological health. Change the preposition
to
Furthermore
, less outer space
in the house automatically means less flora thus
, there will be a lack of fresh air and oxygen that further
results in major health mences
Correct your spelling
menses
menaces
such
as asthma and liver issues in the older population.
Moving further
with the same viewpoint, if there will
be lack of plants in the living areas Verb problem
is
then
the amount of oxygen generated will be less in comparison to the carbon emissions in the surrounding
by vehicles Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
as well as
humans and thus
could be extremely disastrous for the growth of the society. Likewise
, the harmful gasses released from the human body as well as
from motor vehicles will lead to high air pollution. However
, "Health is wealth" is a common saying, but if there is very little space
available for the young ones to carry out physical activities such
as morning walks and Yoga then
individuals need to go to nearby parks for these activities but this
becomes a time-consuming process as every person have a hectic schedule thus
, people need to cut down these activities and they will get physically unfit. Needless to say, all these merits stand in very good stead.
According to
the reasons aforementioned above, one can reach a logical conclusion that big open spaces are really significant as having small or no outer space
in the houses is harmful and can ruin the lifestyle of people.Submitted by ss6802125 on
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task achievement
Your essay, while maintaining a clear position throughout, needs improvement in fully addressing all parts of the task. Ensure that you provide a balanced discussion of the positive and negative aspects when the question requires it. Additionally, expand on your ideas with more detailed examples to support your points effectively.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay needs further development to enhance its coherence. Use clear paragraphing to separate ideas, and present them in a more organized manner. Employ a variety of cohesive devices effectively to link ideas across sentences and paragraphs, ensuring coherence throughout your text.
coherence cohesion
Your main points require further support through the use of specific and relevant examples. To achieve this, consider incorporating real-world scenarios, statistics, or studies with clear relevance to the topic, which would add depth and persuasiveness to your argument.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.