In many countries , many people suffer from health problems due to eating too much fast food. It is therefore, necessary for governments to impose higher tax on this kind of foof. Do you agree or disagree

Serious
health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
show examples
ailments are caused by
Correct article usage
the cosumption
show examples
cosumption
Correct your spelling
consumption
of fast
food
therefore
, some
people
opine that authorities should impose higher
tax
on fast
food
however
, I largely disagree with
this
notion because
this
is not
appropriate
Add an article
an appropriate
the appropriate
show examples
solution to reduce
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
show examples
of fast
food
.
This
essay will
futher
Correct your spelling
further
discuss
this
notion in detail and mention sensible solutions. Undoubtedly, the common
people
will be
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
by
tax
Correct article usage
the tax
show examples
increase
Fix the agreement mistake
increases
show examples
on fast
food
items because in busy life
people
do not have enough time to make meals at their home
therefore
, they do not have any other option than buying
food
from fast
food
restaurents
Correct your spelling
restaurants
.
For instance
,it has been observed that in developed countries,
people
thrive on fast
food
even though the prices are very high in established
food
stores like KFC,
Correct word choice
and Mcdonals
show examples
Mcdonals
Correct your spelling
McDonald
.
Therefore
, common residents will suffer from increased prices
whereas
, big firms will earn profit from
consumers
.
Moreover
, old
people
who are unable to cook and do not have anyone to take care
are
Change preposition
of are
show examples
mostly dependent on
junk
food
,and unaffordable
junk
food
will make their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
even more complex.
For instance
,
according to
a survey , it is depicted that old
people
are more likely to eat
junk
food
as they do not have
energy
Change the article
the energy
show examples
to stand for long hours to prepare meals.
Thus
, imposing
tax
Add an article
a tax
show examples
on
junk
edibles is not a
a
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
solution as it will make
life
Add an article
the life
a life
show examples
of old individuals more difficult
due to
unaffordable
food
prices.
However
, there might be a slight decrease in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
of fast
food
consumers
due to
unaffordability but authorities should take
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
appropriate
approach
Fix the agreement mistake
approaches
show examples
like organising awareness campaigns regarding
effects
Correct article usage
the effects
show examples
of consuming fast
food
,
making
Correct word choice
and making
show examples
strict rules for fast
food
companies to produce quality
food
that will not
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
health
Add an article
the health
show examples
of
consumers
. To recapitulate, there is no doubt that
Correct article usage
an inceased
show examples
inceased
Correct your spelling
increased
tax
on fast
food
will cut down the number of
consumers
but
this
aprroach
Correct your spelling
approach
is not in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
of common citizens as there are many
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
actions take can be taken to reduce
health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
show examples
issues caused by consumption of
junk
food
.
Submitted by gill.g24 on

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task achievement
Ensure that you directly answer the question asked, taking a clear stance. In this case, providing a more direct opinion on the imposition of taxes would strengthen the response.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices correctly to help the reader follow the argument. Be careful not to overuse them, and ensure they fit logically within the essay.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with specific examples and elaborations. General statements should be supplemented with detailed evidence when possible.
coherence cohesion
Revise grammar and punctuation to avoid errors, enhancing the clarity and formal tone required for IELTS essays.
coherence cohesion
Develop paragraphs with a clear central topic that is expanded upon with further information, rather than introducing multiple ideas in a single paragraph.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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