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Band 4

The number of TV programs is growing day by day .some people say that it is good as it is gives people more choices while other say it affect the quality of TV programs discuss both the views and give your opinion

#tv #programs #people #choices #quality
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In recent days, various
TV
Use synonyms
programs
Use synonyms
 have increased
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
. It is good for
people
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 to make
decision
Add an article
the decision
a decision
show examples
 to choose what they want to watch. But it can
bring
Verb problem
apply
show examples
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the quality of
TV
Use synonyms
programs
Use synonyms
. There will be a deeper investigation
about
Change preposition
into
show examples
this
Linking Words
. Looking into more detail,
Correct word choice
and have
show examples
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 a lot of
choice
Change to a plural noun
choices
show examples
 can make
people
Use synonyms
 have more news or film variations. Multiple variants of choices
cn
Correct your spelling
can
 be separated
the
Change preposition
by the
show examples
 kind of
people
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. Every level of humans like children,
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
,
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
 and elders
people
Use synonyms
 can be arranged by their needs. It
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
will give more
information
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 that can not
be filter
Change the verb form
be filtered
show examples
because
Add the preposition
because of
show examples
 the amount of
information
Use synonyms
 from television.
For example
Linking Words
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 a lot of
information
Use synonyms
 about
celebrity
Add an article
a celebrity
the celebrity
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 that they can watch on
TV
Use synonyms
programe
Correct your spelling
programmes
.The value
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the news, can not be known by
people
Use synonyms
. They can believe the
information
Use synonyms
 naturally without
crosscheck
Correct your spelling
cross-checking
show examples
 the
information
Use synonyms
. The results,
people
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 will follow the
information
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 the
information
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 real or fake.
This
Linking Words
 can make followers wrong in directions. 
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
growing
Correct article usage
the growing
show examples
 of
TV
Use synonyms
programs
Use synonyms
 can make advantages for citizens.
First,
Linking Words
they can choose
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of
programs
Use synonyms
 based on their needs. They can filter which program they want to watch. That means they can
imporved
Correct your spelling
improve
improved
 the value of their lives based on their hobbies
for example
Linking Words
.
Second,
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education can be learned everywhere not only at schools. Children can get
information
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 every
TV
Use synonyms
 program that
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
 news about something new to
learns
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
. In my opinion,
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
 of
TV
Use synonyms
programs
Use synonyms
 can make
people
Use synonyms
 more intelligent and
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
 everything that can make their
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 better than before. They can
also
Linking Words
 share
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 each other
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 have
similiar
Correct your spelling
similar
concern
Fix the agreement mistake
concerns
show examples
. They can discuss based on what their was watched before.
Submitted by sastyoke on

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coherence cohesion
Introduction should clearly present the topic and the writer's position. Conclusion should succinctly summarize the main ideas and personal opinion.
coherence cohesion
Organize ideas logically with clear paragraphs. Use a range of cohesive devices to connect ideas within and across paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Develop main points with more detailed and specific examples. Each paragraph should include clear topic sentences.
task achievement
Ensure you address all parts of the task, providing a balanced discussion of both views and a clear personal opinion.
task achievement
Elaborate on the points you make by providing clear, comprehensive ideas that effectively support your argument.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support the ideas presented and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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