In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say that ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
The
population
in most parts of the world is ageing; people
are living longer and there are fewer younger people
in many places as birth rates fall. This
phenomenon has pros and cons, but this
essay will contend that, on balance, the advantages of having an older population
outweigh the negatives.
The first issue that occurs to many people
when considering the ageing population
is the expense. If people
live longer, they may have more than 30 years of retirement and may need to be supported financially by the government or their families. If they experience age-related illness, this
impacts the health system and takes up resources needed by other people
in society. What’s more, when older people
are financially independent, it might be hard for younger people
if they have to compete to get a foot in the door of the housing market or gain employment.
That being said, older people
have a lot to contribute in terms of wisdom, experience and skills. Many people
are active and productive for longer than their counterparts were 50 years ago and are an asset to the economy and society well into their old age. They are able to work for longer and after retirement
they contribute in Add a comma
retirement,
may
ways too, Correct your spelling
many
such
as by doing charitable work, spending money as consumers and supporting their families. Grandparents often care for their young grandchildren, making it easier for both parents to work.
While
it is true that an ageing population
poses challenges for the government, it is clear that
these are outweighed by the significant benefits that elderly
bring to society.Correct article usage
the elderly
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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Task Achievement
Your essay provides a relatively clear position throughout, and it aligns with the task's requirement to discuss the extent the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Nonetheless, the arguments could be more fully extended and substantiated with specific examples to enhance the completeness of your response. Moreover, aim for a more nuanced conclusion that reflects the complexity of the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a clear organization of ideas and effective use of cohesive devices which benefits the overall logical structure. Making a more explicit link between main points and the thesis statement, as well as varying the transitions between ideas, could further improve coherence and cohesion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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