IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the expenditure of 2 countries on consumer goods in 2010.

The chart below shows the expenditure of 2 countries on consumer goods in 2010.
#expenditure #countries #consumer #goods
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The bar chart compares the amount of
money
Use synonyms
 spent on five various types of
consumer
Use synonyms
goods
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as cars, computers, books, perfume and cameras in France and the
UK
Use synonyms
 in 2010. Units are measured as pounds sterling.
In
Change preposition
Overall
show examples
overall
Linking Words
, it
clearly
Add a missing verb
is clearly
show examples
 apparent that the
UK
Use synonyms
 spent much more
money
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
consumer
Use synonyms
goods
Use synonyms
rather
Rephrase
apply
show examples
than France for the given period. Both The
UK
Use synonyms
 and France spent the most of their
money
Use synonyms
 on cars and the least amount of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money
Use synonyms
spending
Replace the word
spent
show examples
 on perfume respectively. In terms of cars, the population of the
UK
Use synonyms
 spent about 450k
punds
Correct your spelling
pounds
 on
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
consumer
Use synonyms
goods
Use synonyms
 and about 400k
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 French .
Similarly
Linking Words
, the British expenditure was lower on the books than the French, 400k and 350k
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
consumer
Use synonyms
 spending
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 books was the second most spending area for the
UK
Use synonyms
 population.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
French
Correct article usage
the French
show examples
 population spent less than 100k
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
these consumer goods
show examples
consumer
Use synonyms
goods
Use synonyms
 respectively. Turning to
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 2
consumer
Use synonyms
goods
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as perfume and cameras, the amount of
money
Use synonyms
spending
Replace the word
spent
show examples
 is the least 2 items for
French
Correct article usage
the French
show examples
 and another side The
UK
Use synonyms
made
Verb problem
spent
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 more spending for
camera
Fix the agreement mistake
cameras
show examples
 respectively.
Submitted by babayeva.ilayda on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words money, consumer, goods, uk, k with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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