2)The government should sometimes infringe on people’s freedom for the secutity of society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

#government #people’s #freedom #secutity #society

Ability

Correct article usage

The ability

show examples

to express yourself and act freely is a reflection of the extent of a society's civilization.

However

this

might have some serious

cosequences

Correct your spelling

consequences

if left without restrictions. I will present both views,

complications

Correct word choice

and complications

show examples

and present my opinion

Change preposition

show examples

it. Freedom of

speech

, act and belief is always considered a precise indication of how civilized a society is. What's more, it is one of the pillars

that is

measured by the United Nations for ranking countries on

basis

Correct article usage

the basis

show examples

of liberty and modernization. In most

western

Capitalize word

Western

show examples

advanced societies, people believe that it is a must that

governments

listen to their needs and respond to them and

this

could not be possibly achieved without allowing a high ceiling of

speech

and press.

On the other hand

, it is expected that

governments

interrupt those advantages in case security

was

Wrong verb form

show examples

threatend

Correct your spelling

threatened

For Instance

, at times of conflict or war, it's not a surprise that

governments

control

press

Correct article usage

the press

show examples

and

speech

to ensure that things

dont

Correct your spelling

don't

get out of

control

and explode into

Add an article

a riot

show examples

riot

Fix the agreement mistake

riots

show examples

. Many

governments

throughout

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

had to

control

socila

Correct your spelling

social

media and applications like

twitter

Capitalize word

Twitter

show examples

just to

control

rumor

Fix the agreement mistake

rumors

show examples

heat

Correct word choice

and heat

show examples

and to ensure that things are not pushed into

viollence

Correct your spelling

violence

or crime. Another example is protestors, who are expected to

take

Verb problem

get

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

official permission first before going out to express their needs and demands,

otherwise

chaos can easily happen. To summarize

this

although

having the privilege of

free

Add an article

a free

the free

show examples

press is crucial and looks elegant, a nation's security always comes first. I strongly believe that any country has the right to

control

it's

Replace the word

its

show examples

stability using any measures needed,

then

Correct word choice

and then

show examples

luxury things like freedom of

speech

and opinion can follow.

Submitted by e.g.slais on Thu Dec 07 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay shows a basic logical structure, but you should work on creating clearer paragraph divisions, and making sure that each paragraph has a clear central idea which is elaborated upon sufficiently. Connect your ideas with a range of cohesive devices.

Task Achievement

While you have addressed the task, you should aim to develop your position more fully throughout the response. Clearly state your opinion and ensure consistency in your argument. Each paragraph should include clear main ideas and be expanded with more specific examples or explanations to effectively support your viewpoint.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

274 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?
First of all, a sense of curiosity is an integral part of human nature. Additionally, history gives each country its identity and value, making it unique from others. In this essay, I will discuss the reasons why people are interested in finding out about the history of their homes and how they can research it.
7
band
Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words
The stability of a nation's financial status directly influences its development. It is evident that many wealthy countries recently have been willing to support poorer nations by donating money to reduce their economic disparities. I totally agree with the notion that, despite financial aid, economically unstable countries can be aided in more sustainable ways, as discussed in the following essay.
7
band
As the world becomes technologically advanced, computers are replacing more and more jobs. Describe some job positions that may be lost because of computers, and discuss at least one problem that may result.
As technology continues to advance, certain job positions are at risk of being replaced by computers and automation. One such category includes routine manual labor jobs, such as assembly line workers in manufacturing industries. With the increasing sophistication of robotics and automated systems, tasks that were once performed by humans, such as repetitive assembly processes, can now be efficiently handled by machines.
6.5
band
People were happier in previous generations compared to now. To what extent do you agree? disagree
The older era is believed to be more relaxed than the recent era. First, the older era environment is not as stable as it is now. Secondly, the source of entertainment in that era is very limited. For those reasons, I strongly disagree with saying the older time is happier than the newer one.
<4
band
In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Village inhabitants are deciding to relocate into cities in different nations around the globe, which lowers the number of rural inhabitants.i think this is a negative evolution because of inceases strian on urban infrastructure and loss of rural traditions and culture.

2)The government should sometimes infringe on people’s freedom for the secutity of society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words

As the world becomes technologically advanced, computers are replacing more and more jobs. Describe some job positions that may be lost because of computers, and discuss at least one problem that may result.

People were happier in previous generations compared to now. To what extent do you agree? disagree

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.