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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram details the process of making leather products. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram details the process of making leather products. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The
given
Verb problem
apply
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diagram illustrates the steps and equipment involved in the leather manufacturing
process
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
process
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 has a number of different stages
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starting
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stating
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starting
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 from animal skin drying and ending with product The
process
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 begins with the animal being dried. After drying, it is transported to the factory.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 stage is complete, water and sugar to wash the animal skin are added, when the soaking
process
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 is finished. once
Linking Words
then
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it is soaked again
has finished
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, the animal skins are soaked in rows
is
Unnecessary verb
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able to start A rotator assisting in the
process
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 will help with flattening.
Next,
Linking Words
the animal skin is soaked in water containing vegetables. Once the soaking
process
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 is complete, it is polished. Simultaneous shipping.
Finally
Linking Words
, at the factory, the production and manufacturing
process
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 has been completed and products
such
Linking Words
 as bags, bags or leather balls are ready for consumers.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words process with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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