some people find it beneficial to send young children to nursery school before they go to primary school. while others think that it is good to keep them with their family. discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #nursery #school

unquestionably, every coin has two sides and so the are the

people

. society's

people

are divided into two groups and

therefore

nursery

school

has become a topic of

bebate

Correct your spelling

debate

among

people

This

eassy

Correct your spelling

essay

easy

will compare both of the opinions

along with

my opinion which is in the favour of former view will be discussed in a sensible

conlusion

Correct your spelling

conclusion

. Initiating with the points supporting

first

Change the article

the first

show examples

school

of thought,

firstly

children

should be sent to

nursery

school

before getting into primary

school

. The

people

who support

this

say that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

nursery

education can be taught very much of higher studies and it will be helpful for them to before going for primary education. Going to playgroup infants will be able to find it similar as there will be more

children

like them and it will boost their their confidence.

for instance

, when

Correct article usage

show examples

infants

Change the noun form

infant

show examples

is going to

nursery

school

it helps them to do some activities and learn new things rather than playing with family. On its contrasting side,

people

who help another

view point

Correct your spelling

viewpoint

show examples

say that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

first and foremost is the attachments of parents and family members to their child and not sending him to

playground

Add an article

the playground

a playground

show examples

and keeping him with them.

Although

, it will not help them.

for instance

, at

home

Add a comma

home,

show examples

children

will not be able to learn things which they will be taught in

nursery

education.

People

also

thinks

Change the verb form

think

show examples

that is

Replace the word

too

show examples

much for a child and it needs time to understand all of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

these.

To conclude

, I would like to say that, sending

children

to the playground is a great idea for their betterment and just not keeping them with the family.

However

, it will depend upon the mindsets of the

people

that

Correct word choice

and

show examples

which view they are in favour of.

Submitted by krishna.zatale777 on Thu Dec 07 2023

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Task Achievement

To improve in Task Achievement, ensure that the essay fully addresses all components of the task. Clearly state your position and discuss both views comprehensively, integrating relevant, detailed examples that support your points. Strive to present a more complete and balanced argument that aligns with the task prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion

For Coherence and Cohesion, focus on organizing your essay in a clear, logical manner that guides the reader through your argument. Connect your ideas with appropriate transitions, and maintain topic consistency within each paragraph. Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are clearly defined, yet avoid repetition. Work on paragraphing and the use of cohesive devices for a smoother reading experience.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

291 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Nursery school
Primary school
Socialization
Cognitive development
Pedagogy
Family bonds
Tailored education
Emotional wellbeing
Cultural heritage
Educational inequality
Early intervention
Parental involvement
Childcare facilities
Readiness for school
Holistic development

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some people find it beneficial to send young children to nursery school before they go to primary school. while others think that it is good to keep them with their family. discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Somw people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on earth. Do you agree or disagree?

In many cities, the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but these measures restrict our individual freedom. Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks?

as countries develop, people tend to buy more and more cars. Do you think the advantages for the individual outweigh the disadvantages for the environment?