IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some people find it beneficial to send young children to nursery school before they go to primary school. while others think that it is good to keep them with their family. discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #nursery #school
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unquestionably, every coin has two sides and so the are the
people
. society's
people
 are divided into two groups and
therefore
,
nursery
school
 has become a topic of
bebate
Correct your spelling
debate
 among
people
.
This
eassy
Correct your spelling
essay
easy
 will compare both of the opinions
along with
 my opinion which is in the favour of former view will be discussed in a sensible
conlusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
. Initiating with the points supporting
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
school
 of thought,
firstly
,
children
 should be sent to
nursery
school
 before getting into primary
school
. The
people
 who support
this
 say that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
nursery
 education can be taught very much of higher studies and it will be helpful for them to before going for primary education. Going to playgroup infants will be able to find it similar as there will be more
children
 like them and it will boost their their confidence.
for instance
, when
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
infants
Change the noun form
infant
show examples
 is going to
nursery
school
 it helps them to do some activities and learn new things rather than playing with family. On its contrasting side,
people
 who help another
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
 say that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 first and foremost is the attachments of parents and family members to their child and not sending him to
playground
Add an article
the playground
a playground
show examples
 and keeping him with them.
Although
, it will not help them.
for instance
, at
home
Add a comma
home,
show examples
children
 will not be able to learn things which they will be taught in
nursery
 education.
People
also
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
that is
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
 much for a child and it needs time to understand all of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
these.
To conclude
, I would like to say that, sending
children
 to the playground is a great idea for their betterment and just not keeping them with the family.
However
, it will depend upon the mindsets of the
people
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 which view they are in favour of.
Submitted by krishna.zatale777 on

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Task Achievement
To improve in Task Achievement, ensure that the essay fully addresses all components of the task. Clearly state your position and discuss both views comprehensively, integrating relevant, detailed examples that support your points. Strive to present a more complete and balanced argument that aligns with the task prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, focus on organizing your essay in a clear, logical manner that guides the reader through your argument. Connect your ideas with appropriate transitions, and maintain topic consistency within each paragraph. Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are clearly defined, yet avoid repetition. Work on paragraphing and the use of cohesive devices for a smoother reading experience.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Nursery school
  • Primary school
  • Socialization
  • Cognitive development
  • Pedagogy
  • Family bonds
  • Tailored education
  • Emotional wellbeing
  • Cultural heritage
  • Educational inequality
  • Early intervention
  • Parental involvement
  • Childcare facilities
  • Readiness for school
  • Holistic development
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