Some people argue that government should spend on their money elderly people care. However, other people say that government should focus more education for young people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #government #money #care #focus #education

The allocation of government funds is a subject of ongoing debate.

While

some advocate for increased spending on elderly

care

, others argue in

favor

Change the spelling

favour

show examples

of prioritizing

education

for young

people

This

essay will explore both perspectives, considering the merits of each, before presenting a balanced stance on the matter. Advocates for increased spending on elderly

care

highlight the importance of supporting a vulnerable section of society. As populations age, quality healthcare, nursing homes, and social services become crucial. Providing comprehensive

care

for the elderly ensures their well-being, dignity, and access to necessary resources.

Moreover

, investing in elderly

care

acknowledges the contributions they have made to society and reflects a compassionate approach to

aging

Change the spelling

ageing

show examples

populations.

On the other hand

, proponents of prioritizing

education

for young

people

contend that investing in the youth is an investment in the future.

Education

equips young individuals with the knowledge and skills needed to build prosperous careers, contribute to economic growth, and drive societal progress. Allocating resources toward

education

ensures a well-prepared workforce and fosters innovation, technological advancements, and social development.

While

both perspectives have their merits, it is crucial to strike a balance between elderly

care

and

education

funding. Governments must recognize the significance of investing in the well-being of the elderly, given their contributions and the increasing

aging

Change the spelling

ageing

show examples

population. Simultaneously, prioritizing

education

for young

people

is essential to cultivating a skilled workforce and securing the future of the nation. A holistic approach is needed, with a focus on

efficient

Correct article usage

the efficient

show examples

allocation of funds that addresses the needs of both demographics. In conclusion, the allocation of government funds between elderly

care

and

education

for young

people

is a complex issue.

While

the elderly deserve quality

care

, ensuring the future generation's

education

is equally vital. Striking a balance is imperative, as it guarantees the well-being of the elderly population

while

nurturing the potential of the younger generation for the benefit of society as a whole.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Thu Dec 07 2023

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task achievement

For task achievement, ensure that specific examples are provided to substantiate your points. The essay presents the general argument well, but could benefit from concrete examples that demonstrate the impacts of funding either elderly care or education.

task achievement

Ensure a balanced discussion of both views throughout the essay. The analysis appears to favor investment in education slightly over elderly care. Aim for equal treatment of both sides to convey a more impartial perspective before presenting your own view.

coherence cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, work on connecting ideas more smoothly between paragraphs using a variety of cohesive devices. The overall structure is logical, but transitioning more seamlessly between ideas could enhance readability.

coherence cohesion

While you have a clear introduction and conclusion, make sure the thesis statement in the introduction maps out how you will approach the discussion. The conclusion should not only summarize points made but also reflect back on this thesis for more coherence.

coherence cohesion

Supporting main points with detailed examples or elaboration can improve the essay. Consider expanding on each main point with further analysis or evidence for a more persuasive argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

318 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people argue that government should spend on their money elderly people care. However, other people say that government should focus more education for young people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Some scientist thinks that there are intelligent life forms on other planets and messages should be sent to contact them. Other scientists think it is a bad idea and would be dangerous, Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many offenders commit more crime after serving their first punishment. Why are this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

In many countries, plastic shopping bags are the main source of rubbish. They cause water and land pollution, and so they should be banned. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Human activities have negative effects on the environment. Some people believe it is too late to take measures to prevent animals and plants from dying out. Others think actions should be taken to improve the situation. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.