Some people argue that government should spend on their money elderly people care. However, other people say that government should focus more education for young people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The allocation of government funds is a subject of ongoing debate.
While
some advocate for increased spending on elderly care
, others argue in favor
of prioritizing Change the spelling
favour
education
for young people
. This
essay will explore both perspectives, considering the merits of each, before presenting a balanced stance on the matter.
Advocates for increased spending on elderly care
highlight the importance of supporting a vulnerable section of society. As populations age, quality healthcare, nursing homes, and social services become crucial. Providing comprehensive care
for the elderly ensures their well-being, dignity, and access to necessary resources. Moreover
, investing in elderly care
acknowledges the contributions they have made to society and reflects a compassionate approach to aging
populations.
Change the spelling
ageing
On the other hand
, proponents of prioritizing education
for young people
contend that investing in the youth is an investment in the future. Education
equips young individuals with the knowledge and skills needed to build prosperous careers, contribute to economic growth, and drive societal progress. Allocating resources toward education
ensures a well-prepared workforce and fosters innovation, technological advancements, and social development.
While
both perspectives have their merits, it is crucial to strike a balance between elderly care
and education
funding. Governments must recognize the significance of investing in the well-being of the elderly, given their contributions and the increasing aging
population. Simultaneously, prioritizing Change the spelling
ageing
education
for young people
is essential to cultivating a skilled workforce and securing the future of the nation. A holistic approach is needed, with a focus on efficient
allocation of funds that addresses the needs of both demographics.
In conclusion, the allocation of government funds between elderly Correct article usage
the efficient
care
and education
for young people
is a complex issue. While
the elderly deserve quality care
, ensuring the future generation's education
is equally vital. Striking a balance is imperative, as it guarantees the well-being of the elderly population while
nurturing the potential of the younger generation for the benefit of society as a whole.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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task achievement
For task achievement, ensure that specific examples are provided to substantiate your points. The essay presents the general argument well, but could benefit from concrete examples that demonstrate the impacts of funding either elderly care or education.
task achievement
Ensure a balanced discussion of both views throughout the essay. The analysis appears to favor investment in education slightly over elderly care. Aim for equal treatment of both sides to convey a more impartial perspective before presenting your own view.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, work on connecting ideas more smoothly between paragraphs using a variety of cohesive devices. The overall structure is logical, but transitioning more seamlessly between ideas could enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
While you have a clear introduction and conclusion, make sure the thesis statement in the introduction maps out how you will approach the discussion. The conclusion should not only summarize points made but also reflect back on this thesis for more coherence.
coherence cohesion
Supporting main points with detailed examples or elaboration can improve the essay. Consider expanding on each main point with further analysis or evidence for a more persuasive argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
