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Writing Samples
Band 7

Social Media such as Facebook, Twitter or Instagram has changed the lifestyle of people. Do the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

#media #facebook #twitter #instagram #lifestyle #people
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Nowadays, there is no secret that technology has revolutionized every aspect of our life. In today’s climate, the issue of social
media
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 has become a controversial minefield.
While
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 it is rational to accept that using social
media
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 can sometimes have a negative effect, it seems that they are more likely to bring benefits. The main justification why having an active presence in social
media
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 can not be fruitful is that users may become addicted to those platforms. Spending hours on social
media
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 to talk to friends or post tweets can have increasingly bad effects on an individual’s daily life.
In other words
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, they would have no time to do their daily chores like students whose main job is doing their homework,
however
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, by overusing social
media
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, their study may hurt. The next drawback is it may promote isolation by restricting social communication. An illustration of
this
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 fact is a woman named Georgia who lived in the United States and for three years, she had no physical connection with other people except talking on Facebook. It was reported that she preferred to stay home even though she was extremely sick. So,
this
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 phenomenon can lead to depression and anxiety.
On the other hand
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, it could be argued that these pitfalls are not comparable to
its
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their
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 merits. The first plus point is that social
media
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 can thrive businesses. Nowadays, companies use social
media
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 to advertise their products, and
also
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 the first thing that a customer checks to see a specific brand’s product is its page on Instagram.
In other words
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, social
media
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 has successfully determined its place in
this
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 field. On top of that, the main advantage is that people can be connected to their friends all over the world. Not only can they talk to each other, but
also
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 it is possible to send pictures or have video calls. What can be concluded from the discussion revolving around the impact of social
media
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 on human life is that its benefits surpass the possible disadvantages it could bring about.
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task achievement
To improve task response, ensure that your essay addresses all parts of the prompt comprehensively. Incorporate more nuanced arguments and counterarguments to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, work on linking ideas more smoothly between paragraphs. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to show the relationships between ideas more clearly.
task achievement
Bring in a wider range of specific examples to support your main points. This will not only add depth to your arguments but also show a broad understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your conclusion succinctly summarizes your viewpoint while echoing the key points discussed, reinforcing the stance you've taken throughout the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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