IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Robots and artficial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happening? Do yo think this will have a positive or negative on society

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Nowadays, artificial
intelligence
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 and
robots
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 are being improved to replace
workers
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 in the company.
This
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 writer believes that because of being tireless is the reason why and
this
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 could have a negative effect on human social life.
Robots
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 and artificial
intelligence
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 are becoming more and more useful than ever as they provide not just quality but
also
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 quantity with high efficiency and do not get tired. Those human-made machines can
work
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 for days without complaining about the amount of
work
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 they have and could do it more effectively. Those machines are just a combination of several tools and materials with the setting on the computer to make them
work
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 perfectly. The main problem
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
 using
robots
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 and artificial
intelligence
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 is that they might not understand what humans want so if there is a problem with the
robots
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 it will cause the process delayed or even cancelled. Despite the benefits they might bring to humans in the company,
robots
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 can be the primary reason for unemployment. Scientists have created
robots
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 to benefit human life. It is true but take a look at those who are undergraduate university and want to earn money, they have to do the
work
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 at the factory. Those automatic machines have been replacing the blue-collar
workers
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 in their workplace since they were introduced.
This
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 could make the rich wealthier and the poor poorer because they are unemployed. Take the example of Amazon, they now use
robots
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 to operate the moving process of goods in the company with a few
workers
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 to manage. In conclusion, being tireless is the prior factor to makes
robots
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 and artificial
intelligence
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 take the place of
workers
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.
This
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 could lead to the social problem of unemployment.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure to diversify your sentence structures and vocabulary to enrich your essay and avoid repetitiveness.
Task Achievement
Try to explore the topic from multiple perspectives to provide a more balanced argument; this will enhance the depth of your Task Response.
Task Achievement
Including more specific examples can strengthen your argument and make your point more convincing.
Coherence & Cohesion
You’ve effectively introduced and concluded your essay, creating a strong frame for your discussion.
Task Achievement
Your essay remains focused on the task throughout, providing a clear stance on the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
You’ve logically structured your essay, making it easier to follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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