Nowadays many people prefer to study or live in foreign countries. While studying and living abroad brings many benefits to individuals, it also has a number of disadvantages. What are the advantages and disadvantages of leaving your country to live or study abroad? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Most
people
are interested
to go
Change preposition
in going
show examples
abroad
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
study or
improving
Wrong verb form
improve
show examples
their lifestyles ,
however
, even though there are lots of benefits to migration
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it has some downfall
also
there.
This
essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of immigration.
Firstly
, international
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
or
people
who live abroad get many benefits during their stay.
Whereas
,
people
like to go there for many reasons
such
as, to obtain high standard
education
Change preposition
of education
show examples
, get foreign experience and high paid jobs compared to their own
country
.
According to
my experience
Add a comma
,
show examples
my job which is Software Engineering has high demand and a high pay scale in the USA, Canada and Australia.
Therefore
, immigration provides several benefits to
people
from third-world countries and makes them move to developed countries.
However
, even have many advantages in migration,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
need to
sacrify
Correct your spelling
sacrifice
lots of things as well.
For example
, after
left
Wrong verb form
leaving
show examples
their family and home,
need
Correct article usage
the need
show examples
to adapt to a different
culture
and
must
Verb problem
being
show examples
fluent in foreign languages
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
not an easy thing.
For example
, I have left my family to study in Canada and when there is an emergency at home I am unable to go there on time since I'm thousands of miles away from them. When looking at the
culture
and language as a Sri Lankan I have grown up with
rich
Correct article usage
a rich
show examples
culture
and beliefs, but it's difficult to follow a foreign
country
and need to adapt to a new
culture
.
Therefore
, living or studying in
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
country
has several difficulties as well. To summarize, even though there are lots of advantages when living or studying in another
country
we have to face several difficulties in order to live there as well.
Submitted by me.sara22 on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task only partially, and the response tends to be repetitive. You should focus more on expanding your ideas and providing a balanced argument throughout the essay. Paragraphing needs work as the ideas are not always logically ordered or clear. Aim to provide a clearer introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, each fulfilling their specific role within the essay. Consider varying your sentence structures and developing your main points with clearer examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
The coherence and cohesion within your essay are adequate, but there is room for improvement. You should work on better structuring your essay by ensuring logical sequencing of information. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother, and use a range of linking phrases to help your essay flow better. The conclusion needs to be clearer and more effectively summarise the points made in the essay. It's also essential to make sure your introduction sets up the topic and your stance effectively.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural diversity
  • Language immersion
  • Self-reliance
  • Career advancement
  • Academic excellence
  • Homesickness
  • Culture shock
  • Cost of living
  • Language barrier
  • Visa regulations
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