Some people believe that government should financially support retired people others feel that those who have retired pay to support themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In today's life, many retired individuals suffer from several financial complications in their everyday lives.

This

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may lead us to pose a pivotal question, should governments back them financially after they decide to leave their occupations? As a matter of fact, certain people hold the opinion that they do not need to be supported

whereas

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, others argue against that. Return some of what they did for us throughout their work life and avoid neglecting them is a common idea among the supporters.

Moreover

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, these people had devoted thousands of hours working whether as civil servants or in the private sector to prosper their society at all.

In addition

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, a huge number of them had put their lives on the brink of death to save their nations from being taken over by others.

However

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, employees would not follow

this

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path if they found that those who already retired had not gotten any money after they were done.

On the other hand

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, several individuals tend to be with the idea of spending

this

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money in other directions rather than giving it to someone who chooses to sit in his home. From their perspective, governments ought to look after all the population without focusing on a specific type to reach equality.

Instead

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, countries need to build with

this

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supporting money a plethora of facilities and community centres which could facilitate our lives. In conclusion, it is obvious that it is a complex issue and it is hard to find an answer to the previous question.

Nevertheless

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, on balance, I tend to believe that allocating these financial gifts to the whole society is far more equal.

Submitted by a.awh05 on Sat May 11 2024

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Task Achievement

Develop your arguments with more specific examples to strengthen your task response score. Including real-life cases or statistical data could make your points more compelling and relevant.

Task Achievement

Ensure your introduction clearly presents the topic and your thesis statement. A more defined thesis statement would guide the reader and set clear expectations.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use a wider range of linking words and organizational patterns to enhance coherence. While your essay has a logical flow, varying your connectors could provide clearer transitions between ideas.

Task Achievement

Consider revising the conclusion to more explicitly state your opinion, providing a concise summary of the discussed views and a stronger final argument supporting your stance.

Task Achievement

Your essay addresses both views of the argument, providing a balanced discussion.

Coherence and Cohesion

You maintained a logical structure throughout the essay, facilitating the reader's understanding of your points.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, framing your essay appropriately.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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Some people believe that government should financially support retired people others feel that those who have retired pay to support themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say that the bicycles are a good, modern means of transportation. Other say riding a bicycle has clear disadvantages.

Some people say thay History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subject like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that when designing a building, the most important thing to be considered is the function rather than the outlook. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Influence of human beings on the world ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of biodiversity. What are the primary causes of loss of biodiversity? What solution can you suggest?

Many people feel it is a waste of money to try to save endangered animal species, for example the tiger or the blue whale. To what extent do you agree or disagree?