IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

These days many people have their own computeres and telephones, so it is quite easy for them to work at home. DOes working at home have more advantages or more disadvantages

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Over the
last
Linking Words
 two or three decades, technology has improvised in many sectors. At present, the working structure has been changed by Computers and telephones like
Use synonyms
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 from
home
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 phenomenon has more benefits than drawbacks and
this
Linking Words
 essay shall discuss it briefly
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the subsequent paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
work
Use synonyms
 at
home
Use synonyms
 has many advantages as compared to the past working culture. One of the main merits is that
migration
Correct article usage
the migration
show examples
 ratio might be diminished
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 people do not move to other locations where their working companies
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 located
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because they can
work
Use synonyms
 at their own place.
For example
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, after the quarantine period, most enterprises have started
Use synonyms
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 from
home
Use synonyms
 in order to
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 migration towards
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
 might be decreased. Another advantage is that the population have a chance to spend
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
quality time with their family members,
they
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 can lead to
get
Change the verb form
getting
show examples
 a healthy and happy life,
as a result
Linking Words
, stress and depression
so
Add a missing verb
are so
show examples
 far away from them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, drawbacks cannot be ignored. One of the disadvantages is that social interactions
reduce
Wrong verb form
are reduced
show examples
 because they are not able to meet their colleague
due to
Linking Words
Use synonyms
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 from
home
Use synonyms
. Stress and depression can occur naturally
by
Change preposition
because of
show examples
this
Linking Words
. Another demerit is that workers might be distracted,
all
Correct word choice
and all
show examples
employee's
Fix the agreement mistake
employees'
show examples
home
Use synonyms
 is not suitable for
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
a workplace
show examples
 which means sometimes they do not have a proper desktop and chair like their working place that has.
To conclude
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, working at
home
Use synonyms
 is quite popular in these days. Spending quality
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
time with family members and reducing
immigration
Correct article usage
the immigration
show examples
 ratio are the benefits,
nevertheless
Linking Words
, lack of distractions and social interactions are the drawbacks.
However
Linking Words
, I agree that working from
home
Use synonyms
 has more benefits.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are well-developed and clearly relate to each other. The essay should introduce the topic and state whether the advantages or disadvantages of working from home are greater. The conclusion should reiterate this position cohesively.
coherence cohesion
A logical structure is crucial. Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each one focusing on a separate main point. Ensure that these paragraphs flow logically from one to another and clearly support the overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Support the main points with relevant, specific examples. While some general examples are given, they could be strengthened with more detail and a closer connection to the points being made. This would help illustrate the advantages and disadvantages more effectively.
task achievement
Respond fully to the task by addressing both advantages and disadvantages. Make sure to include a comparison to state clearly if working from home has more advantages or more disadvantages.
task achievement
Develop clear and comprehensive ideas within your argument. Some points are mentioned briefly but need fuller explanation and development to fully engage with the question and provide a well-rounded argument.
task achievement
Use a range of relevant examples to support your argument. While an example about reduced migration is mentioned, aim to include a wider variety of specific instances that show how advantages or disadvantages manifest in the work-from-home scenario.
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