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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

2. Many developing countries are currently expanding their tourist industries. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative development?

#countries #tourist #industries #case #development
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Tourism
 in recent years has been booming on an unprecedented scale, with many developing
countries
 considering it as a major income source. The main reason for
this
 is the great revenue it generates, and I believe that it is a positive development in some
countries
 that embrace sustainability, but a negative one in
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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others
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 are inclined towards mass
tourism
. The major reason for the rapid growth of
tourism
 is the great profits it might bring. Indeed,
tourism
 has become one of the major players in international commerce, with many statistics indicating that the revenue it brings equals or even surpasses that of many industrial fields
such
 as garment, food production or oil exports. In cases of developing
countries
 where technology in industrial areas is somewhat inferior to developed ones,
tourism
 is deemed instrumental in promoting economic well-being. Any country endowed with natural beauties and historic sites can take advantage of those precious
sources
Correct your spelling
resources
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 to boost
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 economy. Sustainable
tourism
, with all economic, social and environmental angles being thoroughly taken into consideration, is a welcome development. It helps generate great profits, it is a good and healthy form of entertainment for tourists, and it
also
 provides jobs for inhabitants living in tourist destinations. Reality Tours and Travel in India is a great example of
such
 a
tourism
 paradigm. Travellers taking the tour are provided with not only personal solace but
also
 valuable, thought-provoking experiences about the locals’ lives, and the profits of the tours eventually go to the development of the impoverished areas in Mumbai and Delhi.
However
, in some other developing
countries
 where mass
tourism
 prevails,
this
 has become a disaster. Influxes of tourists flocking to one area in peak seasons, littering all over the place, intervening in the locals’ traditional values and damaging the environment have plagued the
overall
 well-being of those
countries
. The Great Pyramid of Giza in Egypt,
for example
, has been reported to suffer from irreversible damage
as a result
 of the enormous number of visitors coming there to see the site every year. In conclusion,
tourism
 has enjoyed increasing popularity in developing
countries
 because it is a profitable economic sector. It can be a force for good if developed judiciously and sustainably, yet a catastrophe if it is out of control and tampers with the life and nature of the local areas.
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coherence cohesion
Be sure to clearly present your main ideas throughout the essay and connect them in a coherent manner. In this essay, the structure is logical and the introduction and conclusion neatly encapsulate the topic. Main points are well supported and contribute to the overall cohesion.
task achievement
Your essay should fully address all parts of the task and present clear and comprehensive ideas. This essay successfully answers both questions posed by the prompt. There's a clear stance on whether it's a positive or negative development, and the argument is mature, including relevant examples to back up the claims.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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