Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #time #activities #children #parents

Some believe that

children

action on their free time should be arranged by their

parents

while

others say that youngster should do their free time

activities

without influence of

parents

. In my opinion, these two notions are important for

children

thus

parents

should be

control

in right way. In the next paragraph, I will discuss from both side of views. First of all,

children

are willing to do all the new things according their nature and

this

is really dangerous when they try to do the

activities

which are not appropriate for young. .

Therefore

parent

should guide their

children

activities

. As a clear example, sometimes,

children

can admire the villain in the movie that they watched. In

this

kind of situation,

parent

control

is very important. They should explain about the advantages of bad character and guided them to reach on the right track.

Secondly

, when

parent

control

and organize all the

activities

of their

children

, they are probably not able to stand by themself and will always depend on their

parent

, as an big effect, they will not exactly know about their passionate things and hobbies. In my opinion,

children

should choose some

activities

by themself ahead

then

parents

have to explain the cause and effect of the activity that they choose. On the

parents

side, they should not force the infant to do their favorite

activities

. To be concluded, freedom of toddler choose on their

activities

are important for their life time confidence,

on the other hand

parent

control

on their activity is playing in important role

according to

their safety.

Submitted by mr.shinephonemyat on Tue Feb 27 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Expand on your main points with more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.

coherence and cohesion

Work on structuring your essay more clearly. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, followed by supporting arguments and examples.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure your introduction and conclusion are stronger and more definitive. Your introduction should clearly state the essay's topic and your stance, while the conclusion should summarily reinforce your opinion and the points made.

general

Improve grammatical accuracy and avoid repetitive phrases. Precision in language and variety in vocabulary will enrich your essay and make it more engaging to read.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

264 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

balanced development
expose children to
tailored activities
promote discipline
foster independence
genuine interests
free play
problem-solving skills
emotional well-being
unstructured time
personal exploration
structured activities

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets should have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods, while others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
There are controversial perspectives heating up a debate over the phenomenon that packaging of commodities should be cut down on. While some claim that producers have a high liability so as to alleviate only-used packages, the opposite makes a statement that consumers are also highly accountable to avoid purchasing packaged items. While they have their own perks, I would contend that it is optimal to combine both mentioned factors.
5
band
In some areas of the US, a “curfew” is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?
In some parts of the US adolescent are not permitted to go out after a certain time unless they are with a grown up. I totally agree with this because it is dangerous for young people to be out late at night and they are irresponsible when it comes to making decisions.
<4
band
Some governments spend a lot of public money training individuals to be successful in international sporting events. Some people believe that this money should be spent on things that will benefit the general public instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree
The majority of the government wastes more money on public training people to become up in forcing sports activities. Other people say that money should be spend on the valuable public normal people. I totally agree with this and I will discuss it.
5
band
A lot of money is spent on repairing old building. Instead of repairing old building that money should be spent on knocking down old building and building new ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is an ongoing debat about old-age buildings and whether these construction should be repaired or be replaced with brand new buildings. My perspective is, although traditional constructions can evoke the sense of nostalgia, building new ones can be more beneficial. The following paragraphs will diccuss this assertion.
7.5
band
Genetic engineering and modification techniques are becoming more advanced, raising ethical questions. What are the advantages and disadvantages of genetic modification?
Several ethical concerns have been raised due to the evolution of genetic and cellular modification experiments. The purpose of this essay is to present their benefits, mainly related to health and product quality, and their drawbacks associated with the occurrence of mutations.

Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets should have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods, while others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

In some areas of the US, a “curfew” is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

Some governments spend a lot of public money training individuals to be successful in international sporting events. Some people believe that this money should be spent on things that will benefit the general public instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree

A lot of money is spent on repairing old building. Instead of repairing old building that money should be spent on knocking down old building and building new ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Genetic engineering and modification techniques are becoming more advanced, raising ethical questions. What are the advantages and disadvantages of genetic modification?