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Band 6.5

Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #time #activities #children #parents
Some believe that
children
 action on their free time should be arranged by their
parents
while
 others say that youngster should do their free time
activities
 without influence of
parents
. In my opinion, these two notions are important for
children
,
thus
parents
 should be
control
 in right way. In the next paragraph, I will discuss from both side of views. First of all,
children
 are willing to do all the new things according their nature and
this
 is really dangerous when they try to do the
activities
 which are not appropriate for young. .
Therefore
,
parent
 should guide their
children
activities
. As a clear example, sometimes,
children
 can admire the villain in the movie that they watched. In
this
 kind of situation,
parent
control
 is very important. They should explain about the advantages of bad character and guided them to reach on the right track.
Secondly
, when
parent
control
 and organize all the
activities
 of their
children
, they are probably not able to stand by themself and will always depend on their
parent
, as an big effect, they will not exactly know about their passionate things and hobbies. In my opinion,
children
 should choose some
activities
 by themself ahead
then
parents
 have to explain the cause and effect of the activity that they choose. On the
parents
 side, they should not force the infant to do their favorite
activities
. To be concluded, freedom of toddler choose on their
activities
 are important for their life time confidence,
on the other hand
parent
control
 on their activity is playing in important role
according to
 their safety.
Submitted by mr.shinephonemyat on

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure your introduction and conclusion are stronger and more definitive. Your introduction should clearly state the essay's topic and your stance, while the conclusion should summarily reinforce your opinion and the points made.
general
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • balanced development
  • expose children to
  • tailored activities
  • promote discipline
  • foster independence
  • genuine interests
  • free play
  • problem-solving skills
  • emotional well-being
  • unstructured time
  • personal exploration
  • structured activities
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